Disclaimer: We do not own Twilight or any of its characters. Stephenie Meyer does. We do however own Bella’s grief. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners and creators. No copyright infringement is intended.
BPOV
I step off the plane and sigh. Oh, how I don’t want to be in Arizona.
I am standing at the luggage claim area of the Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport, and I feel a tap on my shoulder. I jump, startled, and see that it is Phil.
“Hello, Bella. It’s so good to see you again.”
“Hi. Thanks for coming to pick me up, Phil.”
“It’s no problem at all. Your mom would have come, but she was putting the finishing touches on your room. We are just about done settling into the new house.”
“I still can’t believe that mom won the Powerball.”
“You know, the only two things she wanted was a new house, and to pay for your college education. Everything else is still the same.”
As I look out the window in the car, I think about all the people I left behind in Forks.
I know this is what Charlie thought was best for me, but if I didn’t miss my mom so much, I would really hate coming back here.
As we pull up the driveway to the house on Biltmore Estate, I saw Renee standing in the front yard.
I didn’t even wait for Phil to park the car, jumping out, and running to my mom.
“Mommy!” I choke out, in the most God-awful cry.
I knock her down, and she embraces me, only as a mother could.
“My baby girl.”
I’m sobbing so hard, you can clearly tell I am mourning my breakup with Edward.
“Mm-mm-mom, he doesn’t wa-want me anymore! Edward doesn’t love me,” I choke out.
“Shh, Shh, Shh. It will be alright, Bella. You’ll see.”
After a few minutes, and I control my crying, I look up at the HUGE house.
“Mom. Your house is crazy big!”
“Let’s get up so I can give you a tour, and get you settled in. I want to take you to the mall and get you some new clothes, and take you to dinner.”
“I don’t know, mom. I’m not really up to it, and I hate shopping.”
“Nonsense. You need some new cute clothes. You only have big bulky clothes, because of the weather in Forks and you need to eat a little something. We’ll go grab some things and come straight back home.”
My mom takes me into the house, and gives me a tour of the house.
To the left of the foyer, is a beautiful dark mahogany staircase. Inside and out of the house, is a gorgeous cream color, with the interior filled with dark browns and golds. There are also beautiful gold pillars throughout the house.
Downstairs, is Phil’s “Man Cave,” where there is a billiard table and a bar. Very manly.
There’s also a living room that has an almost round, circular-type sofa, and french doors that lead out into the backyard.
The kitchen is very modest looking, with a small dining room table. Across from the kitchen, is a gorgeous almost all-gold formal dining room.
There is a family room, where a movie is playing. It’s with that girl from “Legally Blonde” and some British guy that reminds me of an older Edward. He is HOT!! God, I miss Edward.
As I glance out the back window, and I see a pool and spa. So glad, since it will give me something to do.
I make my way upstairs, and get to my room. It has burgundy curtains and a matching comforter, along with a sofa across from the bed.
Definitely not Forks, but this will only be my home for awhile.
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O
I open my eyes and see nothing but black. I'm in utter complete darkness.
How do I go on living without Edward?
He is the only reason to wake up in the morning, and the only reason to sleep at night. So I can wake up to another day, and be with the one that I love.
I've been at my mom's house for a week now, and it feels like it’s been months.
When I first got to Arizona, my mom tried to get me to go out, to take my mind off of things.
We went to a restaurant for some mushroom ravioli, and to do some shopping, but I really wasn’t up to it.
I did see a new age bookstore on the way in, so I told Renee I had to use the restroom, and snuck out to buy some candles to use later.
Every second I'm away from Edward feels like an eternity.
I keep playing different scenarios in my mind, of how Edward tells me it's been a mistake. That he doesn't blame me for his shooting, and that he still loves me.
I woke up the last four nights screaming, "EDWARD!! Don't leave me Edward!!" or "EDWARD!! Please, I’m sorry, I love you!!"
Renee thought I was going to crack, and have to admit me into a mental health facility.
I don't want to eat, I can't sleep, and all I want to do is find away back home, back to Edward.
O_O_O_O_O_O_O
I hear a knock on the door. "Sweetie, do you want some dinner?"
"No."
"Bella, you have to eat something. This isn't healthy. You just cry. You can't sleep, you're not eating, and you don't want to come out of this room. I don't know what to do for you. Tell me Bella, how can I help you?”
"I'm okay, mom."
"You aren't okay, Bella. My sweet, sweet girl. It will get better over time. You are young, bright, and so full of life. You need to live it."
My eyes well up with tears. "Mom, It hurts so bad. My heart hurts. It’s like a huge hole has been punched through my chest. He promised we would be together, forever, and he broke my heart."
"He's nothing but a liar! Why is he doing this to me? I just- I just want to love him."
My mom walks to my bed and sits next to me. She wraps her arms around me, and says, "My darling girl. Edward is your first love. Everyone hurts the most with their first love. I promise you, it will get better."
“Life isn’t over, Bella. Just, life as you knew it... it will be different. It’s time for you to take your own life in a new direction.”
"You need to keep yourself busy, keep living. As time goes on, it will hurt less and less. Just be strong."
Renee stands up and walks out the door and right before it closes, she whispers, "I love you, and I'm sorry you’re in so much pain.”
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O
I get out of bed to get my backpack, and see a picture of me and Edward. We are laying in bed. We look so happy together.
I threw the frame against the wall, and shout, “WHY DID YOU DO THIS?!”
“I made it easy for you to love me! There were times when you lied, and I let it go. There were times when I cried and you didn’t know. There were nights that I knew you were not alone, but I still waited for you, until you came home. And in the morning I still loved you like the day before!”
“The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you.”
“HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US??”
I walked over to the desk, and toss all of the contents from the top of it. Papers strewn all over the room.
I cried so hard, it hurts my chest. I. CAN’T. BREATHE.
Softly, I whisper, “You promised me forever! How could you just turn your back on me? Like I never meant anything to you?”
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O
I lay in bed, staring at the wall in the dark for hours, until I glance at the alarm clock. 11:48pm. It’s almost Saturday!
I walk to the chair sitting next to the french door, and pull out my candle holder. I read in a book somewhere, that if you light certain colored candles on specific days, that they hold special powers.
Black- Brings upheaval and change. Makes a lover come back to you. Burn at Midnight on Saturday.
Pink- For romance. Brings new love into your life. Light Tuesday night.
Yellow- To bring true love and commitment. Burn on Wednesday, because it signifies tradition and stability.
Blue- Makes a lover faithful to you, and it influences relationships. Burn on Monday.
Red- Ignites passion and pumps new excitement into your sex life. Burn Sunday, but can be used any day.
I open my book, light the black candle, and say, "Love of my life, come to me! You are the one I truly desire! My heart burns with love for you! The path to me is free and clear for you to come to me!"
I know of people this has worked for, so I figure why not try it? I’m beyond desperate. I would do absolutely anything to get Edward back in my life.
I start sobbing uncontrollably. Maybe I am getting delirious from lack of sleep or food. Who knows. All I know is, I need Edward. I NEED Edward. I need him. I can't live without him. I don’t want to even try.
I crawl to my bed and lay across it, and begin saying a little prayer. "God, Please keep Edward safe and help him find his love for me, that I know is in his heart. No matter how far he is from me, no matter how long it takes him, through distance and time, I’ll be waiting. If I had one wish, it would be for Edward and I to find our way back to each other. Amen."
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O
I’m standing in front of my house. I see Edward lying on the ground, twitching uncontrollably.
I run to him and blood is pooling around his head. His eyes stare blankly back at me.
I shake him frantically. “Edward, you have to be okay! I love you! I LOVE YOU! You can’t leave me... EDWARD!!! NOOOOO!!!”
“How could you do this to me Bella? I thought you loved me?” He croaked out, as blood gurgled from his mouth.
His complexion grey as a rainy Fork’s sky.
“Agggggghhhhhhh!!!!”
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O
I open my eyes, shaking and crying. My throat is sore and dry.
My mom is sitting next to me, holding her hand over her mouth, silently sobbing with me.
“Bella? You had another nightmare. Are you okay?”
“Oh mom, what did I do?” I gasped so hard, it hurt to swallow.
“I love Edward, and I swear I never meant to hurt him. When he hurts, I hurt.”
“I know, honey.”
“I feel so all alone now. I’ve lost Edward and Alice. She won’t return my calls or my texts. I’ve lost my boyfriend and best friend. My life is over.”
“Stop it, Bella. Your life is far from over. You have me, Phil, and Charlie, who love you very much. We are all here for you. You just have to deal with Edward not wanting to be with you anymore, and find a way to move on, to live your life.”
“I can’t... I don’t... How am I... I can’t even comprehend that mom!”
“I’m so sorry, Bella. It’s what Edward wanted. HE wanted to end things.”
“I need to talk to him. I need him to understand that I am sorry for the shooting, and that he is wrong for wanting me to go away.”
“I didn’t even get to say goodbye to him.”
CHPOV
“Cullen. Swan here. I need to speak to about something. You got a minute?”
“Sure, Chief. What can I do for you?”
“What would you say, if we got a restraining order out on the kids, to make sure they stay away from each other? Bella is due back home in a week.”
“I understand our desire to keep our children away from one another, but do you think that is a wise decision?”
“Bella wants to see Edward to talk and try to work things out. I can’t have her in the same room with him.” I heard Carlisle sigh heavily.
“Edward wants the same thing. They have to stay as far away from each other as possible.”
“We don’t really have to file the papers. I have a friend down at the courthouse that owes me a favor. I can have her stamp the documents, to make them look authentic. No one will know the difference.”
“Listen Carlisle, I just want to make sure that our kids stay away from each other. This is a way we can guarantee that.”
“Very well, Charlie. Let’s move forward and proceed.”
“Great! I will stop by the courthouse in the morning and get all the paperwork taken care of.”
BPOV
I managed to sleep a few restless hours.
I need to talk to Edward. I need to plead my case. I need him to understand that I’m so sorry for shooting him. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
I need him to know how much I love him, and that I promise not to cheat, nag, or tell him what he can and can’t do anymore. He can be his own man, as long as he knows that I love him.
What about our future together? We are both supposed to move to California. He’s going to USC with Emmett on his football scholarship, and I am going to FIDM, Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising. We will be EXACTLY 2.44 miles from each other. Only 6 minutes away from each other. That we can handle.
Alice will be joining me the following year. She’ll be going into Merchandising Product Development, and I am studying Visual Communications. We eventually want to have our own line, and open up a store together.
That’s it. I can’t take it anymore!
I’ve come to the conclusion, that I am either going to steal Phil’s car or hitchhike back to Forks, to see Edward. I am that desperate. I need Edward.
What’s the worst that can happen? He refuses to see me, right?
I look at the clock. 3:46am...
I tip-toe down the hall, until I hit the top of the stairs. I slowly make my way down the steps.
I walk into the kitchen and grab Phil’s car keys off of the key hook, and head toward the garage.
As I slowly turn the knob to the right, I hear, “What do you think you’re doing?”
Oh shit... I got caught!
RPOV
“Isabella Marie Swan! Are you trying to steal my car?”
“No. Not your car. Phil ‘s car.”
“And that is supposed to make it okay? What are you thinking?”
Bella is standing in front of me, with a sad look of desperation.
“I’m thinking, I need to go make things right between me and Edward. No matter what it takes.”
“Go upstairs, and go back to your room. I’m going to go call Charlie.”
“Mom, come on! Do you really have to go and call dad? It’s 4am!”
“I’m afraid so. Go try and get some sleep and we’ll talk in the morning.”
I walk into the family room and sit down on the couch, to call Charlie.
“Hello, Charlie? It’s Renee.”
“Renee? What time is it? Is it Bella? What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry for calling so early, Charlie. It’s 4am. We just caught Bella trying to steal Phil’s car. She wants to go see Edward and talk to him.”
“She was trying to do what? Renee, you have to explain to Bella that Edward put out a restraining order out on her. She can’t contact him. No contact, at all.”
BPOV
Thank God there is a cordless phone in my room. My cell phone is broken, thanks to me getting angry and breaking it.
*Automated Service* “Thank you for calling Forks Community Hospital. If this is an emergency, please hang up and dial 9-1-1. For Appointment Center, please press 1. For Admitting, please press 2. For Pharmacy please press 3. For Nurse’s Station, please press 4. All other services, please press 5. To speak to an Operator, please press 0, or stay on the line, and one will be connected to you shortly.”
“We’re sorry. Admissions Desk is now closed. Our hours are 7:00am to 11:00pm. Please call again during normal business hours.”
Oh that’s great. Maybe I can call the nurse’s station?
“Nurse’s station. Nurse Hale speaking, how may I help you?”
“Hello. Edward Cullen’s room, please?”
“May I ask whom is calling?”
“His girlfriend, Bella Swan.”
“I’m sorry. I am unable to connect you to his room.”
“Please? I really need to speak to him. Can’t you tell me anything?”
“I’m sorry. Dr. Cullen gave specific instructions, that under no circumstances, is anyone allowed to give you any kind of information.”
“I- I just want to know if he is alright,” I say, trying hold hold back my tears.
“The patient is in stable condition. That is all I will say. Goodbye,” she said in harsh tone.
Dial tone...
ESMEPOV
I’m walking towards Carlisle’s office to have lunch with him. It is something we have done every week day since his residency.
I already visited Edward, and he truly misses Bella.
I feel so bad for him. I could not even imagine if Carlisle and I were not together.
I know it’s just young love.
But, I am his mother. I need him to be safe, and I do not think that Edward and Bella’s relationship is a healthy functioning one.
Now don’t get me wrong, I know my son. I know how he treated Bella. I’m not naïve.
I just hoped Edward would grow up, and realize that he cannot treat women that way.
His father and I did not raise him to treat women poorly. He should be ashamed of himself.
How would he like it if his father treated me in such a manner?
I think he and I need to have a serious talk, about the way he treats not only Bella, but other girls at his school.
I am still upset at Bella, for shooting Edward. I understand she knows how to shoot, and it was “an accident.”
But, she could have seriously hurt my baby boy!
I forgive her for the accident, but it took me a few days to get over my anger that I had taken out on the Swans before Bella left for Phoenix.
I get to Carlisle’s office, and knock on the door.
“Come in.”
“Hello, dear. I brought you a chicken salad sandwich. I hope that is alright?”
“That’s fine. I have something I need to discuss with you. I didn’t get a chance to tell you this morning, because I had early morning rounds.”
“Alright. Let’s have it,” I say. I know by the look on his face, this is not going to be pleasant.
“Charlie called me late last night. He said that Bella has put a restraining order out on Edward. He can't contact her in any way."
"Carlisle, isn't that a little drastic? This will cause Edward so much more pain. First she shoots him, says she doesn't love him, and now she's bringing the law into this? It's absurd!"
“Esme, Bella will be home in another week. Edward will be discharged and back home. Look at what happened the last time they were together. As much as we may hate this for our son, it's probably for the best right now.”
“Edward already seems so broken. How much more can he take before he's destroyed beyond repair?"
“We will all have to do the best we can to help him find a way to deal with this.”
RPOV
I really don’t know what to do. I’m not going to send Bella home early, but I don’t want to punish her either.
She’s in love. I get that. But I truly believe that Bella needs something to distract her. She needs to focus on other things.
I know she will take this whole restraining order, badly.
I knock on Bella’s door at 10am.
“Bella, honey, are you awake?”
“Yeah, mom. And before you start lecturing me, can I say that I’m sorry and I know I messed up?”
“Oh Bella. I know that you know better. I don’t need to scold you like a child.”
“It’s just that I really need for Edward to understand how sorry I am.”
“I know, honey. Listen, how about we grab a bite to eat and go get you a new cell phone. We can also grab a new laptop and whatever else you might need for school. How does that sound? I know you’ve really enjoyed doing graphic design this year.”
“Are you sure, mom? It kind of sounds like you are rewarding me, instead of punishing me.”
“Bella, you know what you did was wrong, and that is the end of it. I want to buy my daughter some new things with my prize money. That is all I’m doing. Now go get dressed.”
Bella heads into the bathroom to shower, and I go into my room, and sit on the bed.
I have a confession...
I had every intention of buying these things for Bella, but I am going to have to go to the extreme.
How am I going to be able to tell Bella, that Edward put out a restraining order out on her?
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O
“Okay, Bella. Let’s go get your iPhone first. And while we’re at it, let’s get you an iPod too.”
“Oh mom, that would be great! Thanks!”
I walked up to a salesclerk, and told him that we wanted the newest model of the iPod, iPhone, Mac laptop, and an iPad.
Apparently, that is the iPhone 4 and 4th generation iPod Touch. Both with pink cases, and I bought Bella 20 one hundred dollar Beatles limited edition itunes gift cards.
I figure that should keep her busy, and if she needs more, I can mail her a set of gift cards again, whenever she needs them.
With all the accessories, protection plans, and everything else under the blue moon, The total comes to about fifteen thousand dollars. At least she won’t have to worry about that stuff, when she goes to college.
“Mom, I can’t let you spend that kind of money on me. That is an insane amount of money!”
“Bella, I’m happy to do this for you. I am finally able to buy you things you’ll need for school.”
Next, we go into Photomark. It’s a camera store, and I know Bella would love to get a new camera and all the accessories to go along with it.
Bella picks out a Nikon camera. I want her to have the top of the line, so I get her the Nikon D3x. It’s an eight thousand dollar camera. She’ll also need a camera bag, various lenses, as well as Adobe Creative Suite.
Once we get done shopping, we stop and get lunch. I know it’s now or never in telling Bella about the restraining order.
“Bella. I have something I need to tell you. When I talked to your dad, he told me some news.”
“I know this is going to be hard to hear, but let me just tell you what it means for you.”
“Oh no, mom. I don’t know if I can handle more bad news,” Bella said, with a terrified look on her face.
“Charlie said that Edward filed a restraining order out on you, and that you can’t be 200 feet near him. You are forbidden to contact him in any way.”
“What? No! How could he do this to me?! I need to talk to Edward!”
“Bella, calm down. Everything will be fine. When you get back to Forks, you can’t go near Edward. You can’t call, text, email or write to him. Your dad is enrolling you into school on the Reservation. You’ll have to finish out your school year there.”
“Charlie said he’s going to talk to the school’s Superintendent, and see if you can still walk with your class at the end of the year.”
“Mom. I can’t believe this! Edward is blowing things way out of proportion! I get to go back home, and not go near Edward? I’ll die!”
“I’m sorry sweetie. I wish there was something I could do.”
BPOV
I step off the plane and sigh. Oh, how I don’t want to be in Arizona.
I am standing at the luggage claim area of the Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport, and I feel a tap on my shoulder. I jump, startled, and see that it is Phil.
“Hello, Bella. It’s so good to see you again.”
“Hi. Thanks for coming to pick me up, Phil.”
“It’s no problem at all. Your mom would have come, but she was putting the finishing touches on your room. We are just about done settling into the new house.”
“I still can’t believe that mom won the Powerball.”
“You know, the only two things she wanted was a new house, and to pay for your college education. Everything else is still the same.”
As I look out the window in the car, I think about all the people I left behind in Forks.
I know this is what Charlie thought was best for me, but if I didn’t miss my mom so much, I would really hate coming back here.
As we pull up the driveway to the house on Biltmore Estate, I saw Renee standing in the front yard.
I didn’t even wait for Phil to park the car, jumping out, and running to my mom.
“Mommy!” I choke out, in the most God-awful cry.
I knock her down, and she embraces me, only as a mother could.
“My baby girl.”
I’m sobbing so hard, you can clearly tell I am mourning my breakup with Edward.
“Mm-mm-mom, he doesn’t wa-want me anymore! Edward doesn’t love me,” I choke out.
“Shh, Shh, Shh. It will be alright, Bella. You’ll see.”
After a few minutes, and I control my crying, I look up at the HUGE house.
“Mom. Your house is crazy big!”
“Let’s get up so I can give you a tour, and get you settled in. I want to take you to the mall and get you some new clothes, and take you to dinner.”
“I don’t know, mom. I’m not really up to it, and I hate shopping.”
“Nonsense. You need some new cute clothes. You only have big bulky clothes, because of the weather in Forks and you need to eat a little something. We’ll go grab some things and come straight back home.”
My mom takes me into the house, and gives me a tour of the house.
To the left of the foyer, is a beautiful dark mahogany staircase. Inside and out of the house, is a gorgeous cream color, with the interior filled with dark browns and golds. There are also beautiful gold pillars throughout the house.
Downstairs, is Phil’s “Man Cave,” where there is a billiard table and a bar. Very manly.
There’s also a living room that has an almost round, circular-type sofa, and french doors that lead out into the backyard.
The kitchen is very modest looking, with a small dining room table. Across from the kitchen, is a gorgeous almost all-gold formal dining room.
There is a family room, where a movie is playing. It’s with that girl from “Legally Blonde” and some British guy that reminds me of an older Edward. He is HOT!! God, I miss Edward.
As I glance out the back window, and I see a pool and spa. So glad, since it will give me something to do.
I make my way upstairs, and get to my room. It has burgundy curtains and a matching comforter, along with a sofa across from the bed.
Definitely not Forks, but this will only be my home for awhile.
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O
I open my eyes and see nothing but black. I'm in utter complete darkness.
How do I go on living without Edward?
He is the only reason to wake up in the morning, and the only reason to sleep at night. So I can wake up to another day, and be with the one that I love.
I've been at my mom's house for a week now, and it feels like it’s been months.
When I first got to Arizona, my mom tried to get me to go out, to take my mind off of things.
We went to a restaurant for some mushroom ravioli, and to do some shopping, but I really wasn’t up to it.
I did see a new age bookstore on the way in, so I told Renee I had to use the restroom, and snuck out to buy some candles to use later.
Every second I'm away from Edward feels like an eternity.
I keep playing different scenarios in my mind, of how Edward tells me it's been a mistake. That he doesn't blame me for his shooting, and that he still loves me.
I woke up the last four nights screaming, "EDWARD!! Don't leave me Edward!!" or "EDWARD!! Please, I’m sorry, I love you!!"
Renee thought I was going to crack, and have to admit me into a mental health facility.
I don't want to eat, I can't sleep, and all I want to do is find away back home, back to Edward.
O_O_O_O_O_O_O
I hear a knock on the door. "Sweetie, do you want some dinner?"
"No."
"Bella, you have to eat something. This isn't healthy. You just cry. You can't sleep, you're not eating, and you don't want to come out of this room. I don't know what to do for you. Tell me Bella, how can I help you?”
"I'm okay, mom."
"You aren't okay, Bella. My sweet, sweet girl. It will get better over time. You are young, bright, and so full of life. You need to live it."
My eyes well up with tears. "Mom, It hurts so bad. My heart hurts. It’s like a huge hole has been punched through my chest. He promised we would be together, forever, and he broke my heart."
"He's nothing but a liar! Why is he doing this to me? I just- I just want to love him."
My mom walks to my bed and sits next to me. She wraps her arms around me, and says, "My darling girl. Edward is your first love. Everyone hurts the most with their first love. I promise you, it will get better."
“Life isn’t over, Bella. Just, life as you knew it... it will be different. It’s time for you to take your own life in a new direction.”
"You need to keep yourself busy, keep living. As time goes on, it will hurt less and less. Just be strong."
Renee stands up and walks out the door and right before it closes, she whispers, "I love you, and I'm sorry you’re in so much pain.”
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O
I get out of bed to get my backpack, and see a picture of me and Edward. We are laying in bed. We look so happy together.
I threw the frame against the wall, and shout, “WHY DID YOU DO THIS?!”
“I made it easy for you to love me! There were times when you lied, and I let it go. There were times when I cried and you didn’t know. There were nights that I knew you were not alone, but I still waited for you, until you came home. And in the morning I still loved you like the day before!”
“The earth turns, the sun burns, but I die, without you.”
“HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US??”
I walked over to the desk, and toss all of the contents from the top of it. Papers strewn all over the room.
I cried so hard, it hurts my chest. I. CAN’T. BREATHE.
Softly, I whisper, “You promised me forever! How could you just turn your back on me? Like I never meant anything to you?”
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O
I lay in bed, staring at the wall in the dark for hours, until I glance at the alarm clock. 11:48pm. It’s almost Saturday!
I walk to the chair sitting next to the french door, and pull out my candle holder. I read in a book somewhere, that if you light certain colored candles on specific days, that they hold special powers.
Black- Brings upheaval and change. Makes a lover come back to you. Burn at Midnight on Saturday.
Pink- For romance. Brings new love into your life. Light Tuesday night.
Yellow- To bring true love and commitment. Burn on Wednesday, because it signifies tradition and stability.
Blue- Makes a lover faithful to you, and it influences relationships. Burn on Monday.
Red- Ignites passion and pumps new excitement into your sex life. Burn Sunday, but can be used any day.
I open my book, light the black candle, and say, "Love of my life, come to me! You are the one I truly desire! My heart burns with love for you! The path to me is free and clear for you to come to me!"
I know of people this has worked for, so I figure why not try it? I’m beyond desperate. I would do absolutely anything to get Edward back in my life.
I start sobbing uncontrollably. Maybe I am getting delirious from lack of sleep or food. Who knows. All I know is, I need Edward. I NEED Edward. I need him. I can't live without him. I don’t want to even try.
I crawl to my bed and lay across it, and begin saying a little prayer. "God, Please keep Edward safe and help him find his love for me, that I know is in his heart. No matter how far he is from me, no matter how long it takes him, through distance and time, I’ll be waiting. If I had one wish, it would be for Edward and I to find our way back to each other. Amen."
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O
I’m standing in front of my house. I see Edward lying on the ground, twitching uncontrollably.
I run to him and blood is pooling around his head. His eyes stare blankly back at me.
I shake him frantically. “Edward, you have to be okay! I love you! I LOVE YOU! You can’t leave me... EDWARD!!! NOOOOO!!!”
“How could you do this to me Bella? I thought you loved me?” He croaked out, as blood gurgled from his mouth.
His complexion grey as a rainy Fork’s sky.
“Agggggghhhhhhh!!!!”
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O
I open my eyes, shaking and crying. My throat is sore and dry.
My mom is sitting next to me, holding her hand over her mouth, silently sobbing with me.
“Bella? You had another nightmare. Are you okay?”
“Oh mom, what did I do?” I gasped so hard, it hurt to swallow.
“I love Edward, and I swear I never meant to hurt him. When he hurts, I hurt.”
“I know, honey.”
“I feel so all alone now. I’ve lost Edward and Alice. She won’t return my calls or my texts. I’ve lost my boyfriend and best friend. My life is over.”
“Stop it, Bella. Your life is far from over. You have me, Phil, and Charlie, who love you very much. We are all here for you. You just have to deal with Edward not wanting to be with you anymore, and find a way to move on, to live your life.”
“I can’t... I don’t... How am I... I can’t even comprehend that mom!”
“I’m so sorry, Bella. It’s what Edward wanted. HE wanted to end things.”
“I need to talk to him. I need him to understand that I am sorry for the shooting, and that he is wrong for wanting me to go away.”
“I didn’t even get to say goodbye to him.”
CHPOV
“Cullen. Swan here. I need to speak to about something. You got a minute?”
“Sure, Chief. What can I do for you?”
“What would you say, if we got a restraining order out on the kids, to make sure they stay away from each other? Bella is due back home in a week.”
“I understand our desire to keep our children away from one another, but do you think that is a wise decision?”
“Bella wants to see Edward to talk and try to work things out. I can’t have her in the same room with him.” I heard Carlisle sigh heavily.
“Edward wants the same thing. They have to stay as far away from each other as possible.”
“We don’t really have to file the papers. I have a friend down at the courthouse that owes me a favor. I can have her stamp the documents, to make them look authentic. No one will know the difference.”
“Listen Carlisle, I just want to make sure that our kids stay away from each other. This is a way we can guarantee that.”
“Very well, Charlie. Let’s move forward and proceed.”
“Great! I will stop by the courthouse in the morning and get all the paperwork taken care of.”
BPOV
I managed to sleep a few restless hours.
I need to talk to Edward. I need to plead my case. I need him to understand that I’m so sorry for shooting him. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!
I need him to know how much I love him, and that I promise not to cheat, nag, or tell him what he can and can’t do anymore. He can be his own man, as long as he knows that I love him.
What about our future together? We are both supposed to move to California. He’s going to USC with Emmett on his football scholarship, and I am going to FIDM, Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising. We will be EXACTLY 2.44 miles from each other. Only 6 minutes away from each other. That we can handle.
Alice will be joining me the following year. She’ll be going into Merchandising Product Development, and I am studying Visual Communications. We eventually want to have our own line, and open up a store together.
That’s it. I can’t take it anymore!
I’ve come to the conclusion, that I am either going to steal Phil’s car or hitchhike back to Forks, to see Edward. I am that desperate. I need Edward.
What’s the worst that can happen? He refuses to see me, right?
I look at the clock. 3:46am...
I tip-toe down the hall, until I hit the top of the stairs. I slowly make my way down the steps.
I walk into the kitchen and grab Phil’s car keys off of the key hook, and head toward the garage.
As I slowly turn the knob to the right, I hear, “What do you think you’re doing?”
Oh shit... I got caught!
RPOV
“Isabella Marie Swan! Are you trying to steal my car?”
“No. Not your car. Phil ‘s car.”
“And that is supposed to make it okay? What are you thinking?”
Bella is standing in front of me, with a sad look of desperation.
“I’m thinking, I need to go make things right between me and Edward. No matter what it takes.”
“Go upstairs, and go back to your room. I’m going to go call Charlie.”
“Mom, come on! Do you really have to go and call dad? It’s 4am!”
“I’m afraid so. Go try and get some sleep and we’ll talk in the morning.”
I walk into the family room and sit down on the couch, to call Charlie.
“Hello, Charlie? It’s Renee.”
“Renee? What time is it? Is it Bella? What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry for calling so early, Charlie. It’s 4am. We just caught Bella trying to steal Phil’s car. She wants to go see Edward and talk to him.”
“She was trying to do what? Renee, you have to explain to Bella that Edward put out a restraining order out on her. She can’t contact him. No contact, at all.”
BPOV
Thank God there is a cordless phone in my room. My cell phone is broken, thanks to me getting angry and breaking it.
*Automated Service* “Thank you for calling Forks Community Hospital. If this is an emergency, please hang up and dial 9-1-1. For Appointment Center, please press 1. For Admitting, please press 2. For Pharmacy please press 3. For Nurse’s Station, please press 4. All other services, please press 5. To speak to an Operator, please press 0, or stay on the line, and one will be connected to you shortly.”
“We’re sorry. Admissions Desk is now closed. Our hours are 7:00am to 11:00pm. Please call again during normal business hours.”
Oh that’s great. Maybe I can call the nurse’s station?
“Nurse’s station. Nurse Hale speaking, how may I help you?”
“Hello. Edward Cullen’s room, please?”
“May I ask whom is calling?”
“His girlfriend, Bella Swan.”
“I’m sorry. I am unable to connect you to his room.”
“Please? I really need to speak to him. Can’t you tell me anything?”
“I’m sorry. Dr. Cullen gave specific instructions, that under no circumstances, is anyone allowed to give you any kind of information.”
“I- I just want to know if he is alright,” I say, trying hold hold back my tears.
“The patient is in stable condition. That is all I will say. Goodbye,” she said in harsh tone.
Dial tone...
ESMEPOV
I’m walking towards Carlisle’s office to have lunch with him. It is something we have done every week day since his residency.
I already visited Edward, and he truly misses Bella.
I feel so bad for him. I could not even imagine if Carlisle and I were not together.
I know it’s just young love.
But, I am his mother. I need him to be safe, and I do not think that Edward and Bella’s relationship is a healthy functioning one.
Now don’t get me wrong, I know my son. I know how he treated Bella. I’m not naïve.
I just hoped Edward would grow up, and realize that he cannot treat women that way.
His father and I did not raise him to treat women poorly. He should be ashamed of himself.
How would he like it if his father treated me in such a manner?
I think he and I need to have a serious talk, about the way he treats not only Bella, but other girls at his school.
I am still upset at Bella, for shooting Edward. I understand she knows how to shoot, and it was “an accident.”
But, she could have seriously hurt my baby boy!
I forgive her for the accident, but it took me a few days to get over my anger that I had taken out on the Swans before Bella left for Phoenix.
I get to Carlisle’s office, and knock on the door.
“Come in.”
“Hello, dear. I brought you a chicken salad sandwich. I hope that is alright?”
“That’s fine. I have something I need to discuss with you. I didn’t get a chance to tell you this morning, because I had early morning rounds.”
“Alright. Let’s have it,” I say. I know by the look on his face, this is not going to be pleasant.
“Charlie called me late last night. He said that Bella has put a restraining order out on Edward. He can't contact her in any way."
"Carlisle, isn't that a little drastic? This will cause Edward so much more pain. First she shoots him, says she doesn't love him, and now she's bringing the law into this? It's absurd!"
“Esme, Bella will be home in another week. Edward will be discharged and back home. Look at what happened the last time they were together. As much as we may hate this for our son, it's probably for the best right now.”
“Edward already seems so broken. How much more can he take before he's destroyed beyond repair?"
“We will all have to do the best we can to help him find a way to deal with this.”
RPOV
I really don’t know what to do. I’m not going to send Bella home early, but I don’t want to punish her either.
She’s in love. I get that. But I truly believe that Bella needs something to distract her. She needs to focus on other things.
I know she will take this whole restraining order, badly.
I knock on Bella’s door at 10am.
“Bella, honey, are you awake?”
“Yeah, mom. And before you start lecturing me, can I say that I’m sorry and I know I messed up?”
“Oh Bella. I know that you know better. I don’t need to scold you like a child.”
“It’s just that I really need for Edward to understand how sorry I am.”
“I know, honey. Listen, how about we grab a bite to eat and go get you a new cell phone. We can also grab a new laptop and whatever else you might need for school. How does that sound? I know you’ve really enjoyed doing graphic design this year.”
“Are you sure, mom? It kind of sounds like you are rewarding me, instead of punishing me.”
“Bella, you know what you did was wrong, and that is the end of it. I want to buy my daughter some new things with my prize money. That is all I’m doing. Now go get dressed.”
Bella heads into the bathroom to shower, and I go into my room, and sit on the bed.
I have a confession...
I had every intention of buying these things for Bella, but I am going to have to go to the extreme.
How am I going to be able to tell Bella, that Edward put out a restraining order out on her?
O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O
“Okay, Bella. Let’s go get your iPhone first. And while we’re at it, let’s get you an iPod too.”
“Oh mom, that would be great! Thanks!”
I walked up to a salesclerk, and told him that we wanted the newest model of the iPod, iPhone, Mac laptop, and an iPad.
Apparently, that is the iPhone 4 and 4th generation iPod Touch. Both with pink cases, and I bought Bella 20 one hundred dollar Beatles limited edition itunes gift cards.
I figure that should keep her busy, and if she needs more, I can mail her a set of gift cards again, whenever she needs them.
With all the accessories, protection plans, and everything else under the blue moon, The total comes to about fifteen thousand dollars. At least she won’t have to worry about that stuff, when she goes to college.
“Mom, I can’t let you spend that kind of money on me. That is an insane amount of money!”
“Bella, I’m happy to do this for you. I am finally able to buy you things you’ll need for school.”
Next, we go into Photomark. It’s a camera store, and I know Bella would love to get a new camera and all the accessories to go along with it.
Bella picks out a Nikon camera. I want her to have the top of the line, so I get her the Nikon D3x. It’s an eight thousand dollar camera. She’ll also need a camera bag, various lenses, as well as Adobe Creative Suite.
Once we get done shopping, we stop and get lunch. I know it’s now or never in telling Bella about the restraining order.
“Bella. I have something I need to tell you. When I talked to your dad, he told me some news.”
“I know this is going to be hard to hear, but let me just tell you what it means for you.”
“Oh no, mom. I don’t know if I can handle more bad news,” Bella said, with a terrified look on her face.
“Charlie said that Edward filed a restraining order out on you, and that you can’t be 200 feet near him. You are forbidden to contact him in any way.”
“What? No! How could he do this to me?! I need to talk to Edward!”
“Bella, calm down. Everything will be fine. When you get back to Forks, you can’t go near Edward. You can’t call, text, email or write to him. Your dad is enrolling you into school on the Reservation. You’ll have to finish out your school year there.”
“Charlie said he’s going to talk to the school’s Superintendent, and see if you can still walk with your class at the end of the year.”
“Mom. I can’t believe this! Edward is blowing things way out of proportion! I get to go back home, and not go near Edward? I’ll die!”
“I’m sorry sweetie. I wish there was something I could do.”
I know one thing for sure, Bella and Edward are going to hate their fathers. I wouldn't put it past Esme to leave Carlisle over this because not only is he hurting their son, but he is lying to her too. Grrrhhh I want to knee them both in the balls.
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