Songs: "(I Just) Died in Your Arms Tonight" Cutting Crew
"The Civil Wars" Poison & Wine
Disclaimer: We don't own these characters, but we do LOVE them and Stephenie Meyer for creating them.
Sometimes I can't believe my life. I feel like I'm living inside a damn soap opera. Being the baby of the family, everyone always gave me what I wanted. The one thing my parents couldn't give me, and my brother Edward did, wasa sister, Bella.
Until a few months ago, everything was perfect. Then I found out that my brother was a cheating ass, figures. That night that Bella saw Edward with that cheerleading whore Tanya, has been permanently etched into my memory.
I didn't think things could get any worse that night when I saw Bella crumble to the ground after she saw what happened. She's my best friend. I should never have left her alone after her reaction to what my brother calls "nothing." I call it the night that the bitch sucked the other bitch's, I mean my brother's dick.
When I walked into Bella's room that night and I saw her with a razor blade to her wrist, my heart stopped. How had it come to this?
I've been stuck in the middle ever since. Tanya wasn't Edward's only indiscretion. He says he loves Bella, but he can't keep his pants zipped when it comes to the opposite sex, even the skanky, disease-ridden whores.
And Bella, well, she tried to get even with Edward's worst enemy, the one and only, Mike-fucking-Newton. (Sorry. That's the only thing anyone has ever called him.) The only good that "date" of Bella's did, was get my ignorant brother arrested.
For years, it has always been Edward and Bella. None of us have known anything else. They are each a side to the same coin, but their relationship, I don't even think it can be called a relationship anymore. All they do is hurt each other.
Whenever I try to talk to them about it, all I get is "Shut the fuck up, Alice" or "Alice, I love you, but I'm not talking to you about this anymore."
I need my brother and I need my best friend, but the happily ever after that I have always pictured for them may be a very distant memory. I don't see an easy way to get out of this.
I've been trying to find a way for weeks to talk to Bella about something else. Me, the yerd (Yearbook nerd, there is really no way around that, it's what I am. I sleep, eat and breathe yearbook.) I think, no, I know that I've fallen in love with my brothers' (yes Edward and Emmett) best friend, Jasper Whitlock.
Jasper is just so totally and utter dreamy! That blonde hair and those blue eyes. Oh, my god! When I look at pictures of him, I actually get lost in those blue eyes.
Sometimes I think he is staring at me, but there is no way Mr. Popular even knows that I'm alive. He's one of the most popular boys at school. I know that I could never be with him, but a girl can dream, right?
Enough about me and the fairytale I want, that will NEVER happen. Since Edward's arrest, saying things have been strained around here is the understatement of the century. Dad was able to make some, well, "donations" to people to get Edward out of trouble, for now anyway.
Dad thought it was a good idea for Edward to get away from town for a while so things could cool down. Newton and his family were not happy that Edward was not being "punished" for the waythat Mike got pummeled from my beloved brother.
Edward, Emmett, and my future husband, I mean Jasper, went to Aspen alone. I don't even want to think about what went down while they were there. Knowing the man-slut that my brother has become, I just hope the other two, no really I mean Jasper, didn't do anyone, I mean, anything stupid.
Edward thought it was a good idea for Bella, who he still calls his girlfriend, but has also recently added the title of "backstabbing, cheating bitch," shouldn't know where he was going, how long he was going to be gone, who he was going with. I was ordered not to tell her where he was under any circumstances, at all. Ugh, I'm stuck in the middle yet again! At least Edward left his cell phone at home. I used that as my excuse anytime Bella was upset that she couldn't get a hold of him.
When she came to the house in tears two days after he left, I was pretty sure I was gonna give him up.
"Alice, it's like I can't breathe without him here." Bella almost screamed at me. She was wringing her hands together and pacing in my room back and forth like a caged animal.
"Bella, after what he did to Mike and then basically getting off scot free, he's got to let things cool down around here." I tried to be as reassuring as I could, but this was me (Rock-Alice-Hard Place). It was a position that I was EXTREMELY uncomfortable in.
"Please," she started to cry. "Al, he's my heart. I'm not complete without him here. I need him. I need my Edward."
"Bells, just a few days ago when I talked to you about E, you told me that it was over between you two." Damn you Edward for leaving me in the position to pick up the pieces of my friend's life that you've torn to shreds with your stupid infidelities.
"Ally, please, I can't...I don't know what I am going to do without him. He's my life, the only person that I will ever love. I can't imagine ever being with anyone else."
Okay. I know she's my best friend, but even saints like me can lose it, and her telling me she can't imagine being with anyone else after what she did with Newton? Please!
"Really, Bells, really? What-the-Fuck!" I screamed at her at the top of my lungs. I mean, I'm surprised the people in the next county over didn't hear me.
"You let that slimy, sleeze ball Mike Newton go down on you Bella, and you can't imagine being with anyone else? Umm, I know people think I'm stupid because I am a virgin, but I'm pretty damn sure when you let him screw you with his tongue, that you were 'with' someone else."
Bella actually cringed at my words, which almost made me feel bad, but lately it's only been about her. I was being her friend, but was she really being mine?
"Alice…" She turned her back to me and couldn't look me in the eyes. "I know that I fucked up. Are you happy to hear me admit it? I don't know what the hell I was thinking. Well, I obviously wasn't thinking at all. Edward. It's always been Edward. I know that I want it to ALWAYS be Edward. I feel like a fucking whore, like Tanya!"
Well, as pissed off as I was at her stupidity, even that one mistake with Mike, didn't even put her in the same time zone as that bitch.
"Bella, I'm sorry. I know that was a low blow. You're my best friend and I love you, a lot. You and Edward, well, you just need to sit down and have a long talk or something. This relationship just isn't healthy. It's like you are both jerking with each other's emotions to see how pissed off you can make the other. Then the next thing you know, you're kissing and making up like nothing happened. That's just jacked up!"
Bella looked shocked at my words. Did she really not have a damn clue what they were really like in everyone else's eyes?
Hell, even Emmett told me he thought that Edward and Bella's relationship was beyond "fucked up." Emmett never talks about relationships with anyone, because he doesn't know the first thing about having one himself.
"Alice, I don't know how to live without him. He is my life."
"Well, Bella, either you need to figure out how to live without him, or figure out how to be with him, the right way."
"No, Bella! Figure it the fuck out already! I don't know how much more of this the rest of us can take!" I shouted at her at the top of my lungs.
Bella actually jumped at my words. I was hoping that I didn't have to smack her in the head to knock some sense into her.
"Sorry, Bells. Why don't you think about things while E's still gone with the guys. Decide what you should do, either end it or fix it."
She expelled her breath harshly.
"Ally, in my head, I know you are all kinds of right, but my heart…"
Bella wiped away the single tear that fell from her eye.
"Bells, you know I love you, so much." I rubbed my hand up her arm gently to try to comfort her.
"I love you, too," she sighed. "I'll do my best."
That was almost a week ago. Edward, Emmett and Jasper…sigh…were due back home any minute. I wished I was brave enough to do something too, I mean, about Jasper.
The front door slammed and the voices I heard knocked me out of my revelry. My heart even began to pick up its pace just hearing Jasper's voice.
I did my best to compose myself and headed downstairs.
Edward and Emmett had thrown their suitcases to the side of the door and I ran down the last steps.
"Welcome home, my dearest brothers." I hugged Emmett first.
"What about me?" Edward asked. "Where's my hug?" He almost pouted like a child.
I giggled as I hugged him.
"Of course, E." We all laughed together.
"Hey, Alice." I jumped as Jasper spoke those two words. My heart's beating became erratic and the look I saw on his face, well, let's just say when I head back upstairs, I'm definitely going to have to change my panties. Damn him and that sultry, sexy, sinful voice! His hair. Those eyes. I almost began to hyperventilate.
"Um… Hi." I inwardly smacked myself in the head. I'm such a moron and have absolutely no clue how to talk to him at all!
"E, do you have a minute? We need to talk." It was like Edward knew exactly what we needed to discuss.
"Sure, Alice." He groaned. "Jaz, you gonna hang here for a while?"
"Yep, Emmett and I are gonna head to the game room. I'm up for a game of pool." Jasper gave Emmett the evil eye.
"It's not my fault you didn't know how to quit while you were ahead, when we played for dough while on vacay, man," Emmett cocked his eyebrows and laughed.
"Fuck you, Em! You're a damn pool shark. Let me have a chance to get that money back."
"Oh, you are so on. Be prepared to lose the shirt off your back, Jaz." Damn Emmett to Hell-in-a-hand-basket for the visual of Jasper's sexy body shirtless. "Are you coming down after you talk to Ally, E?"
"No, man. I need to go see my girl. It's been two fucking weeks, Em."
"Edward, man, I thought after Aspen and all the fucking bunnies you fucked, well I thought it was finally over with you and B." (Wonderful, Edward was still being his faithful self…not.)
"Jasper, shut the hell up, you fuckwad."
Emmett looked to Jasper and then Edward, then shook his head.
"Jaz, there is no reasoning with E right now. Let's go downstairs and play. You ready to get your balls handed to you on a silver platter?"
Dammit, Emmett! Now, I pictured Jasper's…well his…undeniably (even though I so haven't seen it, but would just die to) large and delicious cock, and what I would love to do to that cock and have it do to me.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever! Maybe see you later, E. Alice." Jasper said my name again!
"Bye, Jaz, later, Em." Edward said.
"Ummmm…bye guys." God, I'm such a dumb ass!
Emmett and Jasper headed downstairs. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Jasper look back at me and wink. My mind was obviously playing tricks on me yet again. I sighed.
"Edward, really. You fucked around behind Bella's back again!"
I smacked him hard upside his head.
"Fuck, Ally. We aren't going through this, you beating the shit out of me again. Yes, I tapped a whole lot of pussy on my trip. That's how I roll, and everyone, even Bella, knows that shit."
"Jesus, you are a self-centered, egotistical, fucking, MAJOR, asshole." I got ready to kick him in his damn dick and he jumped out of the way before I made contact.
"What the fuck, Alice? No messing with my package! That's the most important part of this." He motioned to himself.
"Self-centered much, Edward?"
"Fuck, no. That's a God's honest fact. I'm fuck hot. Anyone with a pussy wants a piece of me."
"Edward." I took a deep breath and tried to control my anger that was coming to a boiling point pretty damn quickly. "Do you love Bella?"
"What the hell kind of question is that Alice?" He looked like I had stolen his favorite toy or something. "Of course I love her. She belongs to me and always will."
"Edward, when you love someone, you don't treat them the way that you and Bella have both been treating each other."
"Ally, what the fuck do you know? You have no mother fucking idea what love even is. I mean, shit, you're still a virgin! Have you even ever had a first kiss yet?"
I loved my brother dearly, but there was no way in this lifetime I would take this kind of abuse from him. Before he had a clue what was coming, I used all the strength I had and punched him in face.
"How dare you talk to me like that!" I began to shake I was so angry. I could feel traitorous tears begin to form in my eyes, but no fucking way would I let him see me cry over his overly cruel words.
"Jesus, Alice!" Edward yelled back. "I didn't know you were that strong. That really hurt!" He rubbed his face.
I grabbed him by the hair and forced him to look me in the eyes.
"Edward, listen and you listen to me good. I'm beyond tired of the way you are acting all the time. I'm not the only one either."
"I don't know…" He tried to interrupt me.
"I'm not done talking yet, you bastard!" At this point, all of my control had disappeared.
"You and Bella and this thing you call a relationship are beyond, well, I have no words for how messed up it is!"
"You," I said to him as I started pushing at his chest. "You are a man and you need to man the hell up! Bella has been crying on my shoulder the whole time you were gone. If you love her, truly love her, you will stop screwing around with every girl not related to you, who crosses your path."
" Alice, I'm a man! That's what we fucking do!"
"No, Edward." My voice lowered, yet had menacing undertones to it. "I almost think it would be better for Bella if she never knew you even existed."
Edward jumped as if I'd hit him, and without saying a word to me, went upstairs.
"That was really low, Alice." Jasper said beside me.
I didn't know he'd been there or how long he'd been listening.
"Oh really? What about Edward…well, him fucking everything with two legs? That's pretty low, too!"
"Well, I have two legs and he hasn't tried to fuck me." Jasper grinned that cocky smile of his at me.
"Are you trying to be funny? Because this situation is no where near funny!" I started shoving at him like I had Edward. I was definitely in rare form today.
"Well, I thought I was being pretty cute." He winked at me. This time I knew I wasn't imagining anything.
"Well, you may be cute, but this situation is serious!"
"You think I'm cute, huh?" He turned the tables on me and with every step he took towards me, I was taking two back.
Did I say that out loud? I mentally kicked myself in the ass. I was getting diarrhea of the mouth. I groaned.
"Jasper, stop messing with me okay? You have no idea how bad things have been with Bella. The night she found out about Edward and Tanya, she tried to k…" Holy shit. The runs were flowing freely from my mouth now.
"What the hell, Alice! She what?" Jasper had a hold of my arm and I had only one thought in my mind. I couldn't tell Bella's secret. It wasn't my place. I could try to distract him, though.
I used both hands and grabbed a hold of Jasper's shirt and pulled him to me. I stood up on the tips of my toes and slammed my lips into his.
I could feel his shock as my lips collided with his. Oh, my goodness... what had I done?
The next thing I knew, I felt Jasper clasp me tightly to him and his tongue began atorturous battle with mine. So this is what it felt like to be fucked by someone's tongue? The fire raging inside of me was about to turn into an uncontrollable wildfire any moment.
I threw my arms around his neck and I gave back as good as he was giving me. I ran my fingers through his hair. It was so soft with subtle curls.
And his mouth. It was so much better than I ever imagined. I felt him nip at my lower lip and I shivered.
He began to move with me. The next thing I knew, I was between his rock hard body and the wall. I gasped, as I felt his cock, against my thigh. He was turned on. I turned him on! Me. Alice (The fucking virgin ass nerd) Cullen, had this sexy man hot. He wanted ME!
His hands began to move from my waist. One heading south and one heading north. Um, was I really ready for this? My brothers were in the house, and this was their best friend.
I tore my mouth from his and Jasper began to kiss my neck, as one hand grabbed my ass and the other grazed the side of my breast.
"Jasper, we need to…" His lips found mine again.
"Oh, Alice. I know exactly what we need to be doing. It's definitely not talking." His right hand found my nipple and tweaked it while his left hand firmly squeezed my ass.
Holy shit. I was so wet, I was wondering if I was flooding the living room floor. I heard footsteps on the stairs. Edward? Emmett? It didn't matter who. I had to stop this now. Right now.
I removed my arms from around Jasper's neck, and reached back and slapped him hard across the face.
"What the hell, Alice?"
"Men! You are all worthless piece of shits who want nothing but sex! Well, you may be hot and you may be experienced, but I'll be damned if you're gonna have me."
I turned and ran up the stairs where I accidentally ran into Edward, as he was heading down the stairs.
I was scared for him to see my swollen lips and the expression I had on my face. I almost lost my footing, and he grabbed my arm to steady me.
" Alice, watch where the hell you're going."
"Sorry, E." I mumbled, keeping my head down.
"I'm headed to Bella's."
I finally made my way to my room, and shut and locked myself in. I leaned against my door and began to freak out.
"What have I done?" I moaned, and covered my face with my hands.
What did I do wrong? I rubbed my still burning cheek, as I watched the girl of my dreams head up the stairs to her room.
When I say girl of my dreams, she has been the only girl that I have thought about being close to, for months now. But she is my best friends' sister. No way I could tell Em and E that their baby sister has been who I fantasize about, when I get myself off.
Not only is Alice sweet and kind, but she hasgot that hidden fire. I just never knew until now, how hot she really was. I adjusted myself in my pants. Damn. I had it bad and she didn't even know it. No one knew it but me.
When I felt her lips hit mine, it was like time stood still for me. In that moment, I could see my future, and that future was with her. I meant it. Thenight of the homecoming game, when I told Edward and Emmett that I was going to marry her one day, I will marry her. That definitely won't happen tomorrow. I've got to get her to actually like me first.
I had to develop a plan to capture the heart of Alice Cullen.
I had no idea how long I had been locked in my room. My heart hadn't calmed at all. I knew he was still here, and I refused to leave this spot until I knew he was gone.
I can't believe that he thought he could fuck me in the living room, with my brothers only rooms away from us.
Who does Jasper think he is anyway? He hasn't said more than 20 words to me ever, and he thought he could just have his way with me? I don't think so.
My phone rang. Bella. It didn't take her and E long to get into it… again.
"Hey, Bella." I almost rolled my eyes. I was so tired of this damn drama.
"Ally," Bella said in a weak voice. My heart began to slam against my chest.
"Bells, what's wrong?" I asked frantically.
"My house. Edward. Gun. Blood."
"Bella, are you hurt? Did he hurt you?" My heart slammed hard against my chest. She didn't answer.
The phone went dead.