Thursday, December 29, 2011

Chapter 20 YBTM

Chapter 20

Disclaimer: We still own nothing except the pain and suffering that we give all the characters.


"Live Like You Were Dying" Tim McGraw

“If Today Was Your Last Day” Nickelback


I tightened my grip on Edward’s hand after I heard the announcement and waited for someone to come and tell me the Emily was gone. Suddenly the doors of ICU rushed open. What I saw had me grab Edward’s hand even tighter. Emily was on her gurney with someone sitting on top of her giving her chest compressions, as doctors and nurses pushed her towards the OR. It was like watching an episode of Grey’s Anatomy, but unfortunately this wasn’t TV, this was Emily’s life in the balance.

I choked out a sob and Edward forced me to let go of his hand and pulled me into his lap where he rocked me, trying to calm me as best he could. I heard a throat clear and looked over my shoulder.

“Ms. Swan, I’m Nurse Shepherd.” I giggled at the name, who wouldn’t? My McDreamy had me in his arms. While Nurse Shepherd wasn’t a doctor, he could give Patrick Dempsey a definite run for his money. Maybe this was just all a dream and I was inside and episode of Grey’s after all.

“Sorry, Nurse. She hasn’t slept yet, and is a little out of it,” Edward said as he attempted to stifle a grin himself.

“I understand completely. The doctors wanted me to let you know that it appears as though there was a second place in Miss Young’s heart that suffered a slight tear, and that is what they believe caused her recent cardiac arrest,” Nurse Shepherd said to us. “We understand her parents will be here later today?”

“Yes,” I told him, as I looked at the clock on the wall. The police contacted Em’s parents after midnight and said they would be on a 6 am flight from Seattle. “They should definitely be on the plane headed here now. The flight is supposed to land a little before 4 pm.”

“Her surgery shouldn’t take that long, but the doctor wanted me to assure you as soon as it is finished you will receive an update.”


As the nurse walked away, I knew there were a few things that I had to do before Emily’s parents arrived. First, I had to go tell Jacob about Emily. Then, even though I knew that this wasn’t likely the right time, I had to tell Bella about what our father’s did.

“Bella,” I said gently as I stroked her back. “I promised Jake. I’m not going to break my promise to him.”

“I understand,” she told me.

“Do you want to go with me?” I already knew her answer before I asked. She shook her head solemnly. We both stood up and I hugged her and kissed her forehead. “I won’t be long.”

I didn’t knock as I got to his room. The breakfast cart was a few doors down, so I knew he had either been served breakfast or would be soon. Jake was propped up in his bed, playing with his food. He looked up at me when he heard the door shut.

“Cullen.” His tone was severe, but he and I had come to an understanding last night. He would be keeping his eyes on me at all times and if I fucked up once, he was going to beat the shit out of me and then he would call Charlie, so he could do the same. I had no intentions of doing anything that could hurt Bella in any possible way. I couldn’t tell Jacob that. What he was going through, was more eye-opening than Granny Platt flicking my ears and showing me how I had fucked up my entire life, and most importantly, how Bella shattered into pieces because of my treatment of her.

“Jake,” I cleared my throat, took a deep breath, and looked him straight in his eyes. He nodded his head at me and I could feel the tension radiating from him. “Emily is still alive, but her heart stopped earlier and they found another tear. The doctors have her in surgery now.”

“Cullen...Edward, how long...” Jake gulped. “I have to get out of this fucking bed. The waiting is killing me. I have to see her.” His uninjured hand gripped the breakfast tray and threw it aside. The tray clattered to the floor as he began to cry. “She can’t die, Edward. Emily and I are meant to be together. Forever...”

A nurse stuck her head in at the commotion. “Is everything okay in here?” She asked us.

“Yes, my friend here is used to having two good arms and grabbed his tray with his injured arm, and well, you can see the result,” I told her, as I began to pick up as much of his demolished breakfast as best as I could.

“Okay. I will get maintenance in here to clean up the mess for you.”

“Um, could you also check with the doctor about when Jake should be released? We were told that he only had to stay for observation and would be released sometime today. His girlfriend is upstairs and he really needs to be with her right now.” I had emphasized the word “needs” and the nurse seemed to understand the point that I was trying to make.

“I can page his doctor and check. I know he started rounds about 30 minutes ago. Hopefully he will be here soon.”

“Thank you very much, nurse,” I told her and I heard Jacob sigh with some relief. He would be able to be with Emily soon. I prayed that she was still going to be alive when he did.

“Thanks, man,” Jacob told me.

“Sure. I need to get back to Bella. I will tell the nurse where Bella and I are going to be waiting, so you can join us as soon as they let you out of here.”

“Edward, you didn’t have to keep me updated like this. I really appreciate you not bullshitting me.”

“It is very clear how you feel about Emily. You have every right to know what’s happening with her. If I hear anything else before you are released, I will be back.”

“You do seem different, Cullen. I’ll give you that, but don’t forget what I told you.”

“Black, you don’t have to worry about me hurting Bella. I know what I did to her before, and I don’t ever want her to be hurt by my hands literally or metaphorically ever again. See you upstairs soon.”

“Sure, sure,” Jacob told me.

Even though Bella was worried sick about Emily, I couldn’t keep the truth from her any longer. She had a right to know about the role our fathers had played in officially ending our relationship.

She was curled up in two chairs in the corner of the waiting room, sound asleep. Even with exhaustion filling her features in her sleep, I had never seen a more beautiful sight in my life. I got comfortable next to her and stroked her hair while I closed my eyes and tried to figure out how I could tell her without damaging her already broken heart.

I must have dosed off, because the next thing I knew I was awakened by the most incredible sensation of Bella curled up in my lap. Her head was nestled in the crook of my neck. One of her hands was playing with the hairs at the base of my neck, while the other caressed my chest.

She felt me stir and looked up at me. I could look into those incredible chocolate eyes forever.

“Hey, sleepy head,” Bella told me, while she continued to use those magical hands on my body. Now was not the time for me to be getting turned on by what she was doing.

“Hi, yourself,” I told her, as I stroked a lock of hair from her face and then continued to rub the side of her neck. “Any news on Emily yet?”

“No news is good news, I guess.” She didn’t look too sure of those words as she spoke them. “I’ve been thinking...”

Uh, oh. Those words hovered over my head like an ominous cloud.

“You haven’t told me a lot about what was going on in your world before you got here. You got to hear all the insane stories about how Emily and I met and how she is always a whirlwind of energy that brings happiness and excitement to everyone around her. Tell me about your friends and family. What has everyone been doing since the last time I saw them?”

Bella wanted a distraction from the Emily situation. I would give it to her and then give her the answers she had been looking for.

“Well, two interesting things came out of me being in my addiction phase. First, do you remember Rosalie Hale? She was as senior when we were freshmen in school.” I could see her searching her memory.

“Oh, yes. I remember her. She had a body like a fucking super model and a mind like Einstein. Every guy on campus wanted in her pants.”

“Well, she is a nurse at the hospital. Her and Emmett got together while I was in there.”

“Really? They would make an interesting couple,” Bella told me.

“That they do, but they are more than a couple. They are married and I am going to be an uncle in a few months. January to be exact.” I grinned. I still found it incredible that my twin was getting ready to be a father. He had matured so much during his time with Rosalie.

“What?!” She shouted, and then looked around when she realized how loud she had actually been. “You are just now telling me that Emmett, the biggest goofball on the planet, is going to be a dad! Holy shit!”

“Those were the exact thoughts I had when he told me.” We both giggled.

“Edward, all joking aside, Emmett will be an amazing father. He is a giant kid himself, so he will definitely be able to relate well to his child.”

I stroked the bottom of her chin and my thumb grazed her bottom lip on accident. “Um, that’s true.” I had to get my head back into this conversation. The feel of her lips, fuck me. I want my lips on hers so bad. We are just friends, I told myself. Friends shouldn’t have thoughts like this about another friend. “Oh, and Jasper has finally shagged...I mean snagged himself a winning girl. They’ve been together since January.” Dammit, he better not be shagging my little sister!

“Really, he always seemed so fickle. He was never with any girl for very long, except that foreign exchange student that exchanged bodily fluids with almost every boy on campus. Who is it that has finally snagged his heart?”

“Alice.” I saw her face fall. I knew that Bella and Alice hadn’t talked since January. They had been inseparable since Bella first moved here. While Alice had Jasper, I had noticed that there was something missing- her best friend.

“Your sister and your best friend?” Besides the longing in her voice for her missing relationship with Alice, I heard something else that I couldn’t put my finger on. “She did always have a crush on Jasper. I’m happy that they have both found someone who makes them happy.”

“They are definitely happy. The little pixie is even more chipper than ever, when Jasper is around.”

“I didn’t know it was possible for her to be even more excited. What about your parents? How are Carlisle and Esme?”

Shit. She just gave me the opening I needed.

“They are still the same, but I did find out some interesting news about my dad and your’s last night from Jasper.” She looked perplexed.

“I didn’t think our dads had anything at all to do with each other anymore?”

“That’s what we all thought. Bella. You remember the restraining orders?” She nodded her head, but I felt her tense from head to toe. “Alice and Jasper went to the hospital to visit Dad and they heard him on the phone with your dad. The phone call was on speaker phone and Al and Jaz heard every word they said.”

“What is it, Edward? You can tell me anything. The truth, remember?” She ran her fingers down my cheek.

“It was them, Bella. They lied- to all of us. There were never any restraining orders placed. Our dads just told us that because they didn’t want us together anymore.”

She jumped off my lap and ran to the other side of the waiting room. Fury poured off her in waves. I got up and started to walk towards her.


“My Dad, he would never hurt me that way. He wouldn’t have lied to me.” I was pissed off. After all this time of Edward playing the perfect gentleman, now he was showing that he hadn’t changed at all. “Once a liar, always a fucking liar... huh, Edward?”

“Bella, do you think that I wanted to tell you this and to tell it to you now?” He sounded almost exasperated with me. “I promised you that I wouldn’t lie to you about anything and I meant it. I will always keep my promises. I promised Jacob that I would tell him about Emily and I have. Do you think that this is something that I actually enjoyed doing? No, I didn’t, but he asked me to keep him updated, even if it was news he didn’t want to hear.” He ran his hands through his tousled hair and began pacing. “I tried to tell you last night right before the police arrived. Don’t you remember that?”

I did remember he was going to say something. I thought he was going to say, “Let’s get it on.” Then the night from Hell happened.

“I know that we both tried to say something before we were interrupted.” He walked close to me and I could see pain in his eyes.

“Bella, I know you don’t want to believe that your Dad would have lied to you about the restraining orders. I was so pissed off after Jasper told me what they’d heard. Once I had a chance to cool off, I put myself in our fathers’ places. I was such a major fuck up. Shit, Bella, that’s the understatement of the century. I just wanted you on my terms and no one else’s. You wouldn’t have gone through the trauma of having shot someone. You wouldn’t have gone through all the mental and physical pain that I put you through. By taking me out of the picture, your dad was trying to make sure that I could never hurt you again. While I might not agree with how they both went about it, we wouldn’t be the people that we’ve become today if we hadn’t had the opportunity to grow-up on our own terms. You became who you wanted to be and I was able to become someone that wasn’t ashamed of everything that he did.”

Every word that Edward told me made total sense. He has proven himself to me on more than one occasion. I sank down into the chair and looked up at him. Charlie was a cop, a job where he served and protected.

I remembered the day of the shooting and arriving to the hospital with my Dad.


“What the hell is wrong with you Bella?” He looked me in the eyes and he could

see that it wasn’t just mental pain that I was feeling right now. “Are you hurt,


I shook my head. “No, Dad. I’m perfectly fine. It’s nothing.” As I tried to pull

my arm away from Charlie, he pulled my shirt sleeve up and gasped. I looked down and

saw a bruise on my arm. It was very clear to Charlie what caused it, since the

bruise was the shape of a handprint... Edward’s handprint.

“I can’t believe that son of a bitch did this to you, Bella!” he said through

gritted teeth.


“Don’t you ‘Dad’ me right now! Are you hurt anywhere else?”

“I’m fine. I need to see how Edward is. It’s my fault that he’s here.”

“From the looks of things, he got exactly what he deserved,” Charlie grumbled.

“Char—Dad, how could you say that?” I said softly. “Please, I have to make sure

he’s going to be OK. I love him.”


I remembered the look of horror in Charlie’s eyes when he saw the bruises. If he could have ended Edward right then and there, he would have done it. Dad would have done anything to protect his little girl and it looked like that protection extended to lying and possibly even falsifying legal documents.

“Fuck.” I mumbled to myself. I tucked my legs under my chin and placed my arms around my calves. I was trying to hold myself together yet again. All the times I cried because I thought that Edward didn’t love me anymore. All the times I needed to just be near him and was told that he didn’t want me near him. Lies. They were all lies! Edward had never pushed me away. It was Carlisle and Charlie who forced us out of each others’ lives. I saw Edward sit down next to me. He reached out to touch me, then pulled his hand away.

“Bella,” Edward whispered. His voice was laced with pain. “It’s okay to be mad at me. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you.” He sighed. “I’m sorry, so sorry. Maybe I should just go...”

“No!” I shouted as my hand grabbed on to his thigh. “Don’t leave me!” I fought out, as I started to cry. I couldn’t picture any of my life without Edward in it. He was it for me. He was my forever and I wasn’t going to let him go.

“I don’t think I can ever forgive him for this,” I whispered. “I loved you. I loved you with every cell in my body, with every beat of my heart, with every breath I took. When he told me...I thought I was going to die. I didn’t know how I was going to survive without you.”

“But, Bella, you did survive,” Edward told me. His hand reached hesitantly to stroke my cheek. “You are the most amazing woman I have ever met. I thank God each and every day that you gave me a second chance, when I had done nothing to deserve it. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being my friend.”

“I don’t want to be your friend, Edward.” My comment startled him.

“Okay, Bella.” He stood up to leave. “I told you this was on your terms and that I wouldn’t force myself on you.” He started to walk away from me.

“Edward, no! You didn’t give me a chance to finish.” I walked to him and put my hand on his shoulder. He turned and his beautiful eyes met mine. I grabbed both of his hands and held on for dear life, as my eyes remained locked with his. “I don’t want to live without you anymore. I want us to try to really be together again. I’ve never stopped loving you, E. I don’t just want to be your friend. I want us to be a couple again. What do you say?”

His eyes watered and before he could answer me, I heard another voice from my past.

“Isabella Marie Swan, what in the hell do you think you are doing?”

Thursday, December 15, 2011

You Belong to Me Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Disclaimer: We don’t own anything Twilight except all of our collectibles, calendars and magazines.

Chapter Songs:

“Live Like We’re Dying” Kris Allen

“Seasons of Love” Rent Soundtrack

“Iris” Goo Goo Dolls

“Chasing Cars” Snow Patrol


“An accident?” My voice was shaking. My Dad was a cop. If something had happened to him in the line of duty, it wouldn’t be a phone call that I would be receiving. “Is my dad...” I felt my knees start to give out from under me. Edward wrapped his arms around me to keep me from collapsing.

“Miss Swan, we aren’t here about your father. Are you the owner of a Aston Martin DBS Volante convertible?” The officer asked me.

“Yes,” I whispered. “Jake, Emily are they...” I couldn’t finish. While I wanted to know I couldn’t find the words to ask if my best friends were dead or alive. Thankfully, Edward had the strength that I didn’t.

“Her friends, how are they? What happened?” Edward’s voice was filled with the worry that I felt.

“Your friends were headed towards Norman on Sooner Road when a drunk driver collided with the vehicle. The fire department used the jaws of life to extricate them. The male, his injuries didn’t appear to be life threatening. The girl looked to be extremely critical. She was taken via helicopter to Oklahoma University Medical Center in Oklahoma City. The male was taken there by ambulance,” The officer said, looking over his paperwork.

I swallowed past the lump that had taken root in my throat and I could feel the tears that were now pouring down my face. The officer sounded so emotionally detached. I wished that I could detach myself from this reality that I was now faced with. “Miss, we need to contact their next of kin. Could you please provide us that information?”

“Um, Edward,” I could barely see him through the stream of tears. “My cell phone, please?” He let me go and I suddenly everything started to go black when I felt his strong arms pick me up and gather me close to his chest.

“Bella, B, Baby, I’m here. I’m not leaving your side no matter what.” I felt his lips graze my forehead as I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck with my faced tucked into his neck. He took me to the sofa and grabbed my cell phone off the coffee table. “Baby, whose numbers do I need to look for?”

“For Jacob, Billy Black. For Emily, Paul Young,” I said, as Edward quickly wrote the numbers down and handed them to the officer. “Officer, my friends, their parents live in Washington State. Someone needs to be there for them. They shouldn’t be alone right now.” I started sobbing uncontrollably. I never wanted to let Edward go, as I cried onto his shirt.

“Miss, if you would like, my partner and I can give you a ride to the hospital so you can be with your friends,” said the officer.

Before I could even respond, my gentleman, my other best friend, Edward, answered for me. “Thank you for the offer, sir. I would like to drive her there myself if it is OK with you.”

“That’s fine, son. I will make sure to leave word at the front desk, that they are to give you updates on their conditions since their families are so far away,” the police officer said, as he turned to leave.

“Thank you so much, Sir.” Edward reached out and shook his hand. He followed the officer to the door then came to sit with me on the couch. “Bella, we need to get going. Your friends need you right now.”

He pulled me tightly to his chest hugging me fiercely. His hands were moving in circles on my back trying to comfort me as I returned his hug. I needed some strength right now and Edward was doing his best to help me find it. He unwrapped my arms from around his neck, grabbed my cell and put it in my purse.

“Bella, which is your room? We need to get you some shoes so we can leave?” Edward was saying, as he stood in the hallway.

“First, door on the left.” I wiped at the tears in my eyes. Edward returned quickly with a pair of tennis shoes and an OU hoodie. He put the shoes on my feet and then clasped my hands in his as he helped me up. Then he slipped my arms through the hoodie and zipped it up.

I looked up at him with a questioning gaze. “It gets cold in hospitals. I don’t want you to catch a chill.” He picked up my purse and reached his hand to take mine. It wasn’t enough just to hold his hand, so I linked my fingers through his. Even with all the wrong that had happened tonight, that one gesture felt oh-so-right.


Bella’s quiet sobs on the drive to the hospital tore fiercely at my heart. I drove with my left hand while the fingers of her left hand were almost melded between the fingers of my right hand. I used this small physical connection that I had with her to give her all of my strength and support that she needed.

When we entered the emergency room, I noticed the officer who had been at Bella’s, standing at the receptionist’s area. “Miss Swan, I was able to contact both of your friend’s parents. They unfortunately won’t be able to make it until some time tomorrow afternoon. I also spoke with the nurses in charge of both of your friends and they know to update you on their conditions.”

“Thank you so much for your help, officer.” I could tell from the tone of her voice that she was barely hanging on by a thread. I squeezed her hand gently and she smiled a weak smile but the squeeze she gave my hand back told me how much she appreciated me being with her.

“If you need anything else, please don’t hesitate to contact me. My name is officer Giovanni Raines.” He handed his business card towards Bella, and when she made no move to grab it, I took it.

“We will. Thanks again. Who do we need to talk to for information on her friends?” I said.

“They are waiting for you at the nurses’ station,” the officer pointed us in the right direction. I felt Bella begin to tremble with fear, as we went to get an update on Jake and Emily, so I wrapped my arm around her and guided her.

It was like the nurses were waiting for us. The looks in their eyes made me extremely nervous. I wasn’t sure how Bella would handle it if one or both of her best friends had died.

“Um, my name is Bella Swan. I was wondering if you could give me an update on my friends, Jacob Black and Emily Young?” Bella was hanging on by a thread and I was afraid that she was going to snap at any moment.

“Yes, Miss Swan. I’m Nurse Hayes. I just paged the doctors in charge of your friends’ cases and they said for me to take you to the surgical waiting room. This way please.”

We followed the nurse to the elevators and went to the third floor. When we were guided to a private room, my fears for Bella’s friends escalated. With my dad being a doctor, I knew that these private waiting rooms should really be called rooms of dread.

“The doctors should be here any moment,” Nurse Hayes said, as she shut the door and left Bella and I alone.

“Edward, I don’t know what I’ll do if...” I hugged her as tightly as I could and rubbed her back.

“Bella, we don’t know anything yet. You’ve got to think positive thoughts. Your friends are young and in excellent health. They are fighters from everything that you’ve told me about them.”

I could vaguely remember a time when Jacob Black wasn’t much of a fighter. He had changed a lot from the time in middle school, when he basically just stood there and took the beating that I gave him. I cringed at the thought of the stupid worthless fuck that I was. I was nothing but a piece of shit bully, who did whatever he wanted to do to get his way. Even if that meant beating up a scrawny little kid for looking at the new girl at school, with a big smile. I had seen the pictures of Jake and Bella together. He definitely wasn’t a weakling anymore.

Before Bella could respond two doctors who didn’t look much older than Doogie Howser walked in.

“You’re here for Jacob Black and Emily Young?” The doctor asked us.

“Yes, I am,” Bella answered. She pulled me tighter to her side.

“I’m Dr. Goldberg. I treated Mr. Black. He was extremely lucky. He has some cuts and bruises on his arms and face as well as a broken arm. He has a slight concussion as well, so we are going to keep him overnight for observation.”

“He’s going to be OK?” Bella asked timidly.

“Yes, he should be perfectly fine. We did have to sedate him, because he became uncontrollable when we wouldn’t let him be with his girlfriend. Do you have any other questions about Mr. Black?” the doctor asked.

“No, Dr. Goldberg. Thank you so much for taking care of him,” Bella said.

“You’re more than welcome. I will leave you with Dr. Sandler now to tell you about your other friend,” Dr. Goldberg said as he turned and left.

As soon as the door shut behind Dr. Goldberg, Dr. Sandler came and sat across from Bella. Fuck! It is never, ever good when a doctor takes the time to sit down and talk to a patient’s family.

“I worked on your friend Miss Young in the ER. Upon arrival the EMT’s said that they had to revive her in the helicopter twice on the way to the hospital because her heart had stopped,” Dr. Sandler told us.

Bella gasped for air and the tears began pouring out. My heart was breaking for her and there was nothing I could do but be here for her. I wanted to cocoon her and shield her from any and every bit of pain that life threw at her. “Is she...dead?” Bella asked.

“Her injuries are quite extensive. It appears that after the car that struck Mr. Black and Miss Young’s vehicle at such an angle, their car was sent into a spin. Most of the impact was on the front passenger side of the car where we were told that Miss Young was seated. There are a team of the best surgeons in the country working on her as we speak. Her right leg was crushed and one of our orthopedic specialists is working on it. Miss Young lost a great deal of blood from internal injuries, as well. She suffered trauma to her chest and had fluid around her heart that we believe came from a small tear that the impact likely caused. She also has some bleeding and swelling in her brain. I have to be brutally honest with you. Your friend is in the worst possible shape imaginable. If she makes it through surgery, the next 24 hours are critical,” the doctor said, looking over Emily’s chart.

“How long will she be in surgery?” I asked the doctor. I knew that at this point Bella’s thought processes had checked out. She was crumbling before my eyes.

“It could last from four hours up to twelve. It depends on the amount of damage that they find and repair. They may also have to wait until she is more stable to do all the needed repairs,” he said.

“What are her chances?” I asked. Unfortunately, I knew the answer when he looked me directly in the eyes.

If she survives surgery, it will be a miracle. I am so sorry. I wish I had better news to give you.” He got up and squeezed Bella on the shoulder. “I do believe greatly in the power of prayer. Your friend needs as much support as she can get right now. One of her doctors will be out to give you an update as soon as possible,” the doctor said with a somber look on his face.

“When can I see my friend, Jake?” Bella asked with a despondent look on her face.

“He will likely be out for another hour or two. I will talk to Dr. Goldberg and have Mr. Black’s nurse contact you when he wakes up.” Dr. Sandler nodded to me and walked down the hall.

Bella nodded and threw herself around me. I gathered her up and put her in my lap. Her whole body shuddered from her heart-wrenching cries. I felt my heart constrict in my chest from Bella’s suffering, and soon the tears began to fall from my eyes.

“I can’t...” She gulped out between her sobs, “lose...her...I...need...her!”

“I know, Baby. I know.” I kissed the top of her head and rocked her back and forth. “The doctor was right. Let’s say a prayer for Emily.” She glanced up at me with her swollen eyes and red face. She seemed surprised at my suggestion.

“Bella, when I am stressed or overwhelmed and afraid that my old craving could take over my body, I pray. I pray even when I am not worried about anything. It is soothing and really does provide a true sense of peace and serenity.”

“Do you believe in God, Edward?” Bella asked looking up at me with anguish in her eyes.

“How could I not? The world is such an incredible place, like our meadow at Griffin Park. Look at all the incredible people who we have in our lives.” I looked at the most breath-takenly beautiful woman God ever created who was wrapped in my arms. Only God would have given me the chance to prove myself to her, to give me the opportunity to earn a second chance with her. God works in mysterious and wonderful ways. I believe that he hears us and when it is in his power that he answers our prayers.”

“Edward, she’s in such bad shape,” Bella said with tears falling freely. I could feel every bit of despair that was engulfing every fiber of her being.

“All the more reason to ask God to give her the strength that she needs to fight, to fight to live for Jake, for you.” I placed my forefinger gently under her chin and she gave a small nod. “Would you like me to say the prayer, B?”

“Yes, please,” she sniffled.

“Beloved heavenly father...”


“Amen.” Edward and I said in unison.

“Thank you so much, Edward. That prayer was absolutely beautiful. Do you really think that God heard us?”

“I honestly do, Bella.”

I curled myself even further into his lap. I had no idea how I could have made it through tonight without Edward. He had been my rock. I knew that there was no way that I could have faced all of this alone.

I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when there was a knock at the door.

“Miss Swan, I just received a call from your friend’s nurse. Mr. Black is awake,” the receptionist from the surgical waiting room said. I could feel the relief pulsing through my body. I needed to be with Jake as much as he needed to be with me. “He’s in room 605.”

“Will you tell Emily Young’s doctors where we are, if they come while we are gone?”

“Yes, sweetie. I will let them know. Someone will find you to give you an update if you aren’t here,” the receptionist smiled.

Edward and I got up. “Are you ready?” He asked me.

“I’ve never been more ready.” We wound our fingers together as we made our way to Jake’s floor. I stopped us before we entered Jake’s room. I turned to look at Edward. “What should I tell Jake about Emily?” I didn’t want to be the one to give him the news about how bad she was. I knew that any pain that Emily was experiencing would kill Jake. “The whole truth...It just doesn’t seems like he needs to know everything right now.”

“You’re probably right. Just don’t lie to him, Bella. If things don’t go...just tell him that she’s in surgery and you should be hearing how she is doing soon,” Edward said.

I took a deep breath to try to calm myself. I wiped at my face. “Do I look OK? Will he be able to tell how upset I’ve been?”

“Bella, you’re beautiful.” Edward’s words warmed my heart. “Anyone would be upset that their friends were hurt.” He was right. I could do this. “Do you want me to go with you?”

“Can you give me a few minutes alone with him?”

“Anything, Bella.” He kissed me on the forehead and I opened the door.

Jake hadn’t noticed me yet and it broke my heart to see him in such bad shape. It wasn’t his physical shape that was tearing me in two. I could feel the hurt and anguish that was radiating from his every pore. His other half was hurt. He didn’t know how badly, but I could tell that he still knew.

“Hey, Jake.” I walked over and sat down on the side of the bed by his unbroken arm. I grabbed a hold of his hand with both of mine. “How are you feeling?” I moved one hand and pushed his hair out of his eyes.

“I feel like I’ve been in a wreck, Bells.” He tried to rub at his head with his injured arm. “Fuck this hurts!”

“What can I do for you?”

“I’m so sorry,” He started to cry. My big, strong, teddy bear. My Jake was crumbling before me. “Emily, they wouldn’t let me stay with her. There were so many doctors working on her. I tried...The other car was there before I knew what was happening...” His cries intensified and I felt my tears begin to flow again. “Please tell me she is going to be OK?”

Everyone knows I am the world’s worst liar. Jake picked the one question that I had hoped he wouldn’t ask me.

“Jake,” I squeezed his hand tightly. “She’s in surgery. They are working on her. So many of the best doctors in the country are doing everything in their power to help her...”

“It’s my fault. She’s fighting for her life because of me!” Jake shouted. I wrapped my arms around him as best as I could and tried to help take his pain away like Edward had done with me.

“It is not your fault. Don’t ever think that you are to blame for what happened. If you want to blame it on anyone, blame it on the fucking moron who got behind the wheel of the car they were driving when they were drunk. This. Is. Not. Your. Fault.” I knew that I had to be firm in my words. Jacob loved Emily with everything that he was. I knew what was going through his mind. He was wishing that he was the one on the operating table. He would do anything to make things better for Emily. He would give his life for her.

“Bella, is everything OK?” I heard Edward’s musical voice, at the same time that I felt Jake tense up.

“What is he doing here, Bella?” He looked at me with ferocious eyes. “What the fuck do you think you are doing here with her, Cullen? Get the hell out of here!”

“Jake, he’s with me. He was with me when I found out what happened and hasn’t left my side. I want him here with me.”

Jake grabbed my arm as tightly as he could with his good hand. His grip was so tight it felt like the circulation was being cut off. “Did he not hurt you enough last time you were together? Do you want him to end you? He’s violent, Bella. He won’t stop until you’re dead!” Jake growled at me. He kept squeezing tighter and tighter, and I yelped and Edward stormed closer to us.

“Take your hands off her. You’re hurting her!” Edward’s voice was laced with fury. Jacob looked at the fear in my eyes that he had caused, not Edward.

“Bella, what the hell are you thinking? Is he...” I actually heard the click as Jake put two and two together. “He’s the guy you’ve been seeing here, isn’t he?”

“Yes,” I whispered as I rubbed my arm trying to get the stinging pain to disappear. Edward had taken a protective stance behind me. I could tell he was ready to spring on Jake at any opportunity. I had wanted to find a way to distract Jake about Emily’s plight, but not this way.

“Did you follow her here?” Jacob asked.

“The first time that Bella and I had seen or talked to each other since January, was when I ran into her at the student union here. Neither of us knew where the other was or what they were doing,” Edward assured Jake.

“Sure, Cullen.” Jake rolled his eyes and looked away from us.

“Jake, he has changed. I know you would have a difficult time believing it. I did too, but he isn’t the same person he was.”

“He’s just fucking waiting until you have your guard totally down and then he will start where he left off!” Jacob spat.

“That’s not true. He cares about me. I care about him. He is in my life now.”

“You are so fucking stupid, Bells. I’m not going to sit around and watch him tear you down again. Get the hell out of here and don’t come back. I don’t want to see you again, ever!” Jake said as he turned his head.

I would have collapsed to the floor if Edward hadn’t grabbed me and put me behind him.

“Black, I know you are upset and hurting, but this is not the time to treat Bella this way. She loves you. She loves Emily. It would literally kill her if anything happened to either of you. I am not the one who has caused any type of pain to Bella tonight. Can you say the same thing? All she is trying to do is comfort you and you treat her like, shit.” Edward grumbled and ran his hands through his hair. “What you just did to her... That is exactly something that I would have done to her before.” That remark caused Jacob to cringe and he turned pale. “It’s been a long and painful road for me to get to where I’m at; to change the way that I was. You don’t have a fucking clue and right now is not the time for us to even be talking about me! Your girlfriend, the love of your life, is laying on an operating table and is fighting for her life. Instead of fighting with Bella, you both need to support each other.”

Edward’s words seem to have struck a chord with Jacob. “Jacob, I know you may not be happy with my choices right now, but I need you as much as you need me.” Jake nodded in agreement.

“Jacob, it’s late and I know that no one wants to say anything else they will regret. We will let you rest,” Edward said.

I went up to Jacob and touched the back of his hand. He turned his hand over and clasped mine and squeezed. “He’s right. Rest, Jacob.” I kissed him on the cheek.

“Emily?” Jacob choked out.

“Once we hear something, you will be the next to know.” Edward told him.

As soon as we left Jacob’s room, I sagged against the wall and Edward captured my hand in his. “He didn’t mean any of it, B. He’s scared and needed to lash out at someone.”

“I know. I couldn’t imagine if...” I didn’t finish the thought out loud because it truly startled me. I couldn’t imagine how I would feel if I was in Jacob’s place and it was Edward who was fighting for his life. Edward belonged in my life. He wasn’t just my friend. He was the missing piece that I needed, to be who I was meant to be. Yes, I was Bella without him and my life was good. Hell, my life was incredible without him. But with this new Edward, my life was even better. “Let’s head back to the waiting room. I need to find out how Em is.”

It didn’t take long before a doctor came in to tell us that we had gotten a miracle. Emily had survived the surgery despite the odds. Her next hurdle was to survive the night which the doctors said would also likely require a miracle. I wondered how many miracles God would give my best friend.

We had promised to tell Jake how Emily was, but when we got to the floor, I couldn’t face him. Edward walked in the room. I head Jacob raise his voice then I heard his roar of pain. I sunk to the floor and wrapped my arms around my calves and cried for him, for Emily, for the bad luck that two such incredible people didn’t deserve to have. Edward walked out what felt like an eternity later. He looked like he had shed a few tears himself.


I thought that Jacob Black was going to rip me limb from limb, when I entered his room. As soon as I told him I had news he demeanor totally changed. He demanded that I tell him everything that I knew. I simply nodded and told him what he never thought he would hear. If it were Bella, I wasn’t sure that I could survive it. She was everything to me and always would be.

Bella and I didn’t say a word as we headed to the Intensive Care Unit waiting area. A nurse came out and let Bella just peak her head in Emily’s room. When Bella returned, I wished that she hadn’t gone. She was in visible shock. I got a blanket from the nurse’s station and had Bella lay down to attempt to at least rest her eyes, even if she didn’t fall asleep.

She stretched out in the chair and placed her head in my lap. An hour or so had passed, but Bella wasn’t asleep yet, even though she hadn’t moved an inch other than to take a breath. I was rubbing my fingers through her hair. It was a technique that my mom used on me when I was little and couldn’t sleep. It never failed to relax me. I could feel the tension of the last eight hours slowly begin to leave her body. I heard Bella’s soft sigh. Another minute or so and she would be out like a light.

Suddenly an announcement had Bella shooting straight up. “Code Blue ICU 4. Code Blue ICU 4.”

“Emily!” Bella gasped.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Outtake for fandom4LLS from Chapter 7


If you love Jasper or Jackson, you will love this outtake we did for Fandom for Leukemia and Lymphoma. This takes place at the end of Chapter 7. Enjoy!

Outtake Alice and Jasper’s first date

Disclaimer: We don’t own Twilight or the wonderful Jasper…if only we did. J

***Italics are from Chapter 7 of You Belong to Me***


I felt like I was watching myself in a dream. I was going out with Jasper tonight! Oh my God! I could die now and die happy. (Well, maybe after my date.) It was all I could do to not jump up and down while I was sitting in the car seat on the way to the hospital. This was a moment that I have waited for, well.. forever it seemed.


He grabbed his tie and began to put it around his neck. "Here, let me." I lifted up the collars on his shirt, my fingers purposefully grazing the sides of his neck as I moved the tie in place. I felt Jasper shiver and I did a mental fist pump, that I was able to get that reaction out of him by just a tiny touch of my fingertips. I ran my hands down from the collar straightening the tie and fingernails ghosting across his chest, as my hands straightened out the length of his tie.

I grabbed his jacket and helped him into it. He pulled me close for a tight hug. He kissed my forehead, each cheek, both sides of my lips and then finally his mouth was home, on my lips where they were made to be. I didn't even try to take it further like I really wanted, because when Jasper gets his mind on something, come hell or high water, you can't change it.

Neither of us heard the door open, as we ended the kiss. Our bliss was interrupted with Emmett's thunderous voice.

"Jasper, what the fuck! What in the hell are you doing with my sister?"


Emmett stormed over and had his hands out to grab Jasper and pull him away from me and I stepped between them, putting my hands on Em’s chest.

“Stop it!” I shouted.

“Alice, step the fuck away. I’m going to beat the shit out of him. How dare he touch you like that!” Emmett’s face was bright red, flaming with his anger.

“Ally, sweetheart, let me have a minute to talk to Emmett, OK?” I looked over my shoulder into Jasper’s concerned face.

“What the hell did you just call her?!?!?” Emmett was trying his damnedest to get passed me and I wasn’t going to let him beat the shit out of the love of my life.

“Emmett, stop it already! You need to let me explain what’s going on.” I decided that I had only one option left. I grabbed a hold of Emmett’s ear and pulled. This was a special technique that I developed years ago to put me on even ground with my brothers. They were giants compared to me and I needed a way to defend myself. I pulled once more and brought Emmett to his knees.

“Holy Mother of God, Alice. Stop it, please. You know that hurts like hell!”

“Say it, Em! Say it now!” I yelled at him. There was only one phrase that would save both Emmett and Edward from my ear-tugging torture.

“OK, you win! Alice is the all great and powerful and never does anything wrong. She is my master. I will do as she bids.” I grinned at Em wickedly then let go of his ear. He collapsed onto his ass and began rubbing his ear.

“You know never to mess with me Emmett McCarty Cullen! I may be little but you know that I’m mighty powerful.” I stifled a laugh as he shot me a dirty look.

“You don’t have to rub it in. I think you partially detached my ear from my head.” I smacked him on the side of his head, the same side where I had pulled his ear and he scooted as far away from Jasper and me as he could. I noticed that he had bright red lipstick on the collar of his shirt.

“Hey, Emmett.” I walked close to him and he stood up and I touched his collar. “What’s this red stuff on your collar, big brother.” He turned his head to try to look at it. “This is lipstick, Em. Lipstick on your collar! Whose lipstick is it, huh?” He expelled the breath and his mouth began to gape open.

“It’s, hey, Ally. I really don’t want to talk about it, OK.” Was Emmett blushing? I do believe he is.

“So is this serious, Em. When do we get to meet her? You know who I’m going out with tonight. It’s only fair that we know who you are seeing. Come on give.” I heard Jasper chuckle behind me. He came up and wrapped his arm around my waist.

“Em, you know that Ally is unstoppable when it comes to this stuff. You might as well spill. She won’t shut up about it unless you do.”

“I don’t care what you want right now, Ally. You promised me you would explain what I just saw when I walked in and saw my best friend in a lip-lock with you and had his hands all over your body.” He was getting that annoying possessive tone that I just don’t stand for.

“Em, I’m an adult and I make my own decisions. You are my brother, not my dad. Jasper and I are dating. D-A-T-I-N-G. Is that clear enough for you. I’ve been in love with him for years and you all have been too wrapped up in your own lives to notice it.” Emmett shrunk away from me as if I had hit him again. “You know what, Em? I’m lucky enough that he feels the exact same way about me! We are going out tonight and we are together. That is how it is so you just need to deal with it. Got it?” I looked at Jasper, who still had his arm wrapped around me, and he gently kissed the top of my head. His smile made my heart rate increase and I swear that I could feel my eyes smoldering back at him.

“Guys, I’m still in the room,” Emmett muttered. I muffled a giggle. Jasper’s smile widened even more, which I didn’t even think was possible. “So you love my baby sister, huh?”

“Emmett, I would die for her man. She’s spunky, which you know all too well. She always says what she thinks and she looks fuck-awesome in pink.” Jasper laughed. “I’ve wanted to date her for a while now, but I didn’t think she felt the same way. When I found out that she did, my heart soared. She is it for me, Em. She’s it.”

“My lil pixie, baby sis, and my best friend,” Emmett shook his head. “OK, then. You kids have fun tonight, but not too much fun! I’m heading out later tonight myself. I probably won’t see you til the morning, Ally.” He came up and kissed me gently on the forehead and poked Jasper in the chest. “You take good care of her.”

“You know I will, Em,” Jaz said. “Nothing but the best for my girl.” Emmett stalked away to his room as Jasper walked in front of me and took my hands in his.

“Are you ready to go, my love?”

“More than ready,” I said in my sauciest voice. “Where are we going?”

“I’m taking you out for a very romantic dinner. We’re going to Port Angeles to C’Est Si Bon.” I’m surprised I didn’t need a bib at that moment, because that place is top notch French food. We only go with mom and dad on special occasions, since it’s so expensive.

“Jasper, any place as long as I’m with you would be romantic,” I said as he helped me into his car. He took hand hand and kissed my palm tenderly.

“Alice, nothing but the best for you.” I melted again. His lips would be the death of me.


It never fails every time I enter into C’ESt Si Bon that I feel as though I have instantly been transported to Europe. It was shear opulence. Fine linen covered tables are decorated with flower-filled crystal vases. Romantic music is filtered gently throughout the dining room. We were taken to a secluded corner to our table where we would be our our own little world.

Jasper pulled out my seat for me. I felt his fingers gently stroke the back of my neck and he bent and whispered in my ear. “Thank you for coming with me tonight.” I felt myself shiver as he kissed the nape of my neck and I swear I felt his tongue dart out to taste my skin. I tried my best to calm my thudding heart as I picked up my menu and began to peruse the selections.

We ordered sparkling water with cranberry juice and Jasper ordered us an appetizer of Fruits de Mer au Gratin, which was scallops, crab and shrimp. We took turns feeding each other the mouth-watering seafood. Then, we enjoyed our delicious butter lettuce salads, while we waited on our entrees.

Conversation with Jasper was easy. We talked about our favorite foods, movies, music, what we wanted for our future. I still wanted to go to the FIDM, Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising in California. The thought startled me momentarily. Bella and I were supposed to go there together. What was going to happen now? I still wanted to study Merchandising Product Development. Bella was going to study visual arts. I was going to create my own super stylish line of clothes and she was going to market it. I haven’t talked to her in days and had no plans to anytime soon. She shot and broke my brother’s heart by saying that she didn’t love him anymore. She didn’t even have the nerve to tell him that to his face. WTF! Jasper knocked me out of my revelry when he gently rubbed his thumb over the pulse point in my wrist which sent thoughts of my friend to the furthest recesses of my mind and sent my pulse into overdrive...again.

“Ally, hun, you looked upset. Did I say something...”

“No, Jasper, no. It wasn’t you. I was thinking about...Bella.” A look of understanding washed across his face.

“I’m so sorry about everything, Ally. If you need to talk, I’m here, any time, day or night.” I grabbed his hand and linked my fingers with his.

“I know. Thank you. That’s enough unsettling thoughts for the evening.” I flashed a brilliant smile at him. His face easily echoed the happiness of mine.

Our waiter brought our dinners. I enjoyed the succulant Carnard Roi, the roast duck, and Jasper being the true guy he is had Steak Aux Cinq Poivres, a huge juicy New York steak with peppercorns. When we finished, Jasper ordered us a chocolate mousse to share for dessert. When he lifted the first bite to my lips, it was heaven and I’m not talking about the dessert. His eyes glazed over with lust as I darted my tongue out to lick the mousse from my lips. When he did the same after I fed him a bite, I nearly swooned. Jasper didn’t have to make moves on me. All he had to do was be himself. That is definitely at the top of my list of why I love him so much.

After dessert, he stood and reached for my hand. “Dance with me, Ally?” I placed my hand in his and he lead me out to the dance floor and the music suddenly changed. Etta Jame’s at last began to fill my ears and Jasper wrapped me tightly in his arms. There was no space left between us at all. I didn’t know where I ended and where he began. We were one, swaying to and fro to the lyrics. What I heard next made me weak in the knees as Jasper began to quietly sing to me.

“I found a thrill to rest my cheek to.” He rubs his gloriously handsome face against mine. “A thrill that I have never known.” His hands pull me even closer even though I thought it was impossible for us to be closer together.

“Oh yeah and when you smile, you smile.” I couldn’t help but smile at him. He couldn’t carry a tune if you gave him a bucket to carry it in but I could feel these words coming straight from the deepest regions of his heart.

“Oh, and then the spell was cast. And here we are in Heaven. For you are mine...” I’m transfixed by the way his eyes look at me with such awe. “For you are mine, at last.” He bent down and his luscious lips touched mine and ignited a frenzy throughout my entire being. He rested his forehead against mine. “Alice, I love you so very much.” He lips grazed my forehead, my eyelids, my cheeks, my neck below my ear. I’m sure I was looking at him googly-eyed at this point.

“I love you too, Jaz.” I skimmed my lips along his jaw and felt him shudder.

“Are you ready to go home?” I knew what I wanted to do with him and that so couldn’t be done in public.

“I’m ready to leave, but I’m not ready for the evening to end yet. How about watching a movie at my place?”

“Sounds perfect.”


The house was empty again when we arrived back to Forks. We headed to the entertainment room, usually known as the game room. The boys conned dad into buying a 73 inch 3D television and a blu-ray 3D DVD player. I was at least able to have my way and get a huge collection of Romantic Comedies and just plain old Romance movies. There was one movie that I asked for that shocked them all. I had to have “The Last Airbender.” I had watched the cartoons forever on TV and thought I’d give the movie a whirl and I was sooooo glad I did. I found guy who played Sokka an absolute hottie, but he doesn’t hold a candle to my Jasper.

Jaz began to pore over the dvd selection as I sank into the leather sectional.

“Anything particular you want to watch?”

“How about something with Hugh Grant? He’s so funny.” He pulled one out and showed it to me.

“Yes! I LOVE LOVE LOVE ‘Love Actually.’”

Jasper put the DVD in the player and came to sit next to me. We only turned on the corner lamp so the room was almost darkness. It was the perfect “make-out” setting. I leaned into his side and began to tuck my feet under me when I felt my heels poke me in my ass. I pulled my legs back out and groaned as I slipped out of my shoes. I rubbed at my feet a little.

“Do your feet hurt, Ally?”

“Sometimes you have to suffer to be fashionable.” I giggled. Jasper surprised me when he got up and said, “Hold on. I’ll be right back.”

A few minutes later he came back with my jasmine vanilla lotion and a grin on his face. He sat back down and shocked me when he pulled my feet on his lap.

“Lay back and get comfortable, baby. I want to make you feel better.”

I took the couch pillow and propped it up under my head and stared at him transfixed as he poured some lotion into his hand and rubbed his palms together to warm it up.

He started at my toes and his nimble fingers took their time and paid attention to each toe. It was the most relaxing thing I had ever felt. It made my bubble baths look like a walk over hot coals. He repeated it on the other foot.

“How’s this, Ally,” he said as he began to work his fingers down to sole of my foot and I moaned. “Did that hurt, baby?”

“No, Jaz. That feels fan-fucking-tastic.” He let out a booming laugh.

“Ally, babe, don’t take this the wrong way, but you really sounded like your brothers just then!”

“Jaz, their colorful vocabulary was bound to rub off on me sooner or later.” I grinned and he continued his masterful work on my feet. Watching him and the intensity that he worked my feet was one of the sexiest I had ever seen. I suddenly started to feel more than relaxed. This massage was really starting to turn me on. I began to writhe more than a little.

“No, honey. Please, please don’t stop.” He finally reached between the ball of my foot and my heel. Holy shit! I could feel the throbbing begin to pulse in my center. The more pressure he used on my foot, the more feverish I felt throughout my entire body. I groaned and clutched the pillow behind my head. I was tingling all over my body and I’ve felt like this before. I knew what was building and I couldn’t believe that this would happen just by a not-so-simple foot massage.

I never knew that they could be this...erotic. I was so turned on that I was shocked that I hadn’t spontaneously combusted. If this is what he could do to me when he massaged my feet, I the ecstasy I would experience with him when we have sex for the first time could cause the entire planet to explode from our explosive passion. I was leaking like a broken faucet. I could smell my arousal permeating around me and I could tell by the gleam in Jasper’s eyes that he knew what was about to happen to me. The massage continued and the throbbing, not just in my pussy, but in my entire body caused all of my senses to be heightened. The heat kept building deep inside me and I felt a tightening in my stomach. I was clenching my legs together trying to reach that pinnacle that my entire being was craving. The walls of my pussy were constricting uncontrollably. I was squirming all over the couch, my entire body flushed when with one final press of his thumbs, Jasper sent me over the edge and I screamed as the most incredible sensation I had ever known bombarded me. My chest was heaving and I couldn’t catch my breath.

“Alice, did you just...”

“Oh. My. God. That was the most incredible...I don’t have words.” I got up and snuggled next to him on the couch and kissed him resoundingly on the lips. “Thank you, Jasper. This was the best, most incredible, unforgettable, marvelous first date EVER!”

He encircled me in his arms and kissed me again. We nestled into the couch and watched Hugh Grant find love as the Prime Minister. I had found my love right here and I was never letting him go.

You Belong to Me Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Disclaimer: Still don’t own anything *sighs* other than a reformed doucheward.

Chapter Songs:
“Secrets” One Republic
“Sex on Fire” Kings of Leon
“On Call” Kings of Leon


It had been six weeks since Edward and I embarked on this journey to be friends with one another and it had been so much more than I had ever expected. No matter where we went and what we did, he was always a total gentleman. He pulled out my seat for me when we went out to eat. He always opened doors for me. This Edward was the Edward that I had wished I’d known from the start.

We hung out all over campus between classes. He went with me to all of the football games, even though we only got to spend a few minutes together since I was always taking photos. Edward told me that there was no place he’d rather be than where I was. I think my heart overflowed with those words.

He had stuck to our bargain and followed every rule that I had given him, even though I had these feelings. Feelings that I wasn’t sure I was ready to face again. I wondered if he still did, too. His letter told me that he still loved me and he’d always loved me, although he never made any type of move on me at all. Maybe friendship was all that would be possible between us now.

I thought he was going to make a move at dinner last night, when he moved the hair at the back of my neck as he helped me be seated at the table. My heart and breathing stopped as I waited for his lips to touch the nape of my neck. Instead of lips, I felt his fingers. Then he sat down in front of me.

“Sorry about that,” Edward told me. “Your tag was sticking out of your shirt.” He smiled his crooked smile and I had to fight the urge to throw myself across the table and jump him. Jesus, I needed to get laid, but not here on the patio of a restaurant for Christ’s sake.

“That’s fine, Edward. Thanks.” My body was humming with anticipation of his next touch, but it didn’t happen. He was as always the perfect gentlemen.

He wasn’t always serious. Every time that we went to Griffin Park to watch the adult dodgeball games, we became “announcers.” It was like we were Gary Cole and Jason Bateman from the movie Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story. I swear that our comments made Cole’s and Bateman’s seem tame in comparison. Of course, we didn’t sit around others who could hear what we were saying about the “players” or we would have likely gotten our asses kicked.

Usually our comments had us in tears from laughing so hard at the grown-ups acting like elementary school children, and their beer bellies bouncing around like all the boobs in a typical episode of Baywatch. Just like the movie, Dodgeball, we found a man that reminded us so much of David Hasselholff that we wondered if he had a twin who lived in Oklahoma. I always had my camera with me and I had some very interesting action shots from the games. It's too bad that I didn’t have permission to publish them.

One of my favorite moments with Edward was when he took me to his secret spot in the park. We trekked a little off the beaten path. After walking what felt like forever, we broke through the trees and entered what looked like Eden.

“Edward, this is absolutely beautiful.” I looked around struck with total awe of the beauty before me. It was a beautiful meadow filled with every wild flower that Oklahoma had to offer, like the clusters of Blue Sage intermingled with Indian Blankets. Giant Sunflowers stood like guardians at the edge of the meadow overlooking the majesty before us. “How did you find this place?”

He blushed. Edward, Mr. Tough as Nails, was embarrassed. I touched him gently on the arm.

“I’d really like to know.”

“The day that I saw you for the first time, I took a break and headed out here to clear my head. I wasn’t really paying attention to where I was going. The next thing I knew, I was here. I was alone in this beautiful, peaceful place. Now whenever I just want to relax I come here and”

“It’s amazing here. Thank you so much for sharing your secret garden with me.” We grinned at each other and laid down in the one patch of earth that wasn’t covered with gorgeous flowers and we just...were.

Every time that we were together, things were so simple between us. Slowly, I could feel the lingering anger that I felt for Edward began to dissipate and it moved to the back of my mind. When I thought of him or saw him lately, the first thought wasn’t about the things he did to me in the past. I was truly grateful to have someone who was there to listen to me if I needed to vent about deadlines or even to distract me in the middle of the night when my roommates were getting busy down the hall.

Emily and Jacob were no longer my only best friends. I considered Edward one of my best friends. Every time that I saw Emily and Jake together, I hoped that maybe, just maybe, Edward and I could get to where they were too. I knew it would happen tomorrow, but some day.

I was sitting in the living room working on some photo illustrations on my laptop, when Jacob strolled in the front door.

“Hey, Bells. What’s up?”

“Same stuff, different day, Jake. What about you? Are you ready for your big date tonight?” Jake rolled his eyes at me. Tonight was the night that Emily had been waiting for for weeks. Jacob, well, he was just doing something special for his girl. For their first week anniversary, Jake bought Emily tickets to see Katy Perry at the BOK Center in Tulsa. She was so excited, I was pretty sure that Katy Perry, wherever she was, heard.

He plopped down on the couch beside me. “I have no words for tonight, Bella.” We both laughed. Then he got a look that I knew very well on his face.

“Spit it out, Jake. What do you want?”

“I hate to ask, but could I please, pretty please with sugar on top, borrow your car for tonight?”

“You, Mr. Mechanic, who has enough money to buy any car that he wants yet owns a Rabbit that is always in need of repairs, because you are the man, wants to borrow my quarter of a million dollar car?”

“You’re a bitch. Forget that I even asked.”

He got up and stormed towards his room. “Jacob, get your ass back here! I wasn’t finished talking to you yet!”

He put his head down and walked back like a little kid who had just gotten scolded by his mom.

“Why do you want to borrow my car?”

“The damn Rabbit started cutting out on my way back from school today, and I don’t have time to look at it and fix it before we have to leave for the concert. You know how much this damn show means to Emily. I don’t want to break her heart and tell her that we can’t go because we don’t have a way to get there.”

I soothingly placed my hand on his arm. “Jake, you put a scratch on my car while it is in your possession tonight and I am going to have ReneĆ© kick your ass.” He threw his arms around me and hugged me tightly.

“Oh, Bella, thanks so much. This is fucking awesome. I swear to God that your car will be returned to you in one piece or I will kick my own ass for you, even though your mom is really scary. What do you have planned for the night? Are you hanging out with your mystery man again?”

“I do have a hot date planned.” I smirked at him.

“What the hell, Bells? We haven’t haven’t even met this guy yet.”

“Well, I haven’t met him either. But I know he is so hot that our television could catch fire while he is on screen tonight.”

“Please don’t tell me that you are going to be drooling over some teeny bopper actor playing a damn vampire or something.”

“No, Jake. I don’t think he’s a vampire? Even though that one guy, damn his jawline is something fierce. I wouldn’t mind touching me some jaw porn.”

“Fuck, Bella. Really, he’s a cold blooded dick. You should go for the guy who plays the wolf. You know that wolves are a better bet than vampires. The wolves are so much hotter.”

“I can see that Emily has had you watching some of her favorite movies again, huh? Or have you been watching the CW on Thursday nights? That Ian guy is some nice eye candy too.” Jake grabbed the throw pillow on the couch and smacked me in the head with it.

“Oh, so Bella is now a comedian. I didn’t know that you had changed your major to stand-up comedy.”

“Nope. I just changed my major to fuck with Jake about girly things he does whenever possible. I will be watching the very attractive Followill brothers otherwise known as the Kings of Leon and their documentary on Showtime tonight. They’ve promised some nudity. I am so ready.”

“What? Do you have your beloved Rabbit all fired up and ready to go?”

“Well, at least my Rabbit is always reliable and never leaves me hanging.”

“TMI! TMI!” Jake shouted at me, as he covered his ears.

“You may have started it, Jake, but you know that I’m the one who always finishes it!”

“True, Bella, you are the great master.”

“And don’t you ever forget it.” Jake’s cell chirped. I could tell by the look on his face that it was Em.

“I need to start getting ready for tonight. She is almost home. Thanks again for loaning me the car. You are helping me make one of Em’s dreams come true tonight.” I was confused by his words and it must have shown on my face. “I’ll show you. Hold on a minute.” Jake went to his room and came back with an envelope. “I am waiting to tell her about this when we get to Tulsa, but I was able to get meet and greet tickets for tonight. She is going to get to meet Katy before the concert and have her picture taken with her.”

“Oh young Skywalker, I have taught you well.” Jake snickered at my horrible Star Wars impersonation.

“Better stick to comedy, Bella, because that sucked balls.” It was my turn to smack him with the throw pillow as he ran to his room to get ready.

After Jake and Emily left the house an hour later, I sat staring at the cell phone in my hand. “Just do it already, Bella.” I ordered myself. “Stop being a chicken.”

I hit the send button and in two rings his smooth voice answered my call.

“Hi, Bella. It’s good to hear from you. How are you tonight?” Edward asked me. He was always so polite now. That had really taken some getting used to at first. Now every time that he did something gentlemanly, I felt as though I wet my pants because that behavior turned me on more than his crooked smile did.

“I’m doing great. My roommates just left to go to that concert tonight.”

“Oh, that’s right. So they have left you to fend for yourself, huh?”

“Well, I actually have plans.”

“Sorry, I didn’t know. I hope you have a good time tonight.” His tone sounded a little disappointed. Did he want to spend time with me as much as I did with him?

“That depends, Edward. How would you feel about coming over to my house tonight to watch a documentary on the Kings of Leon with me.” There was a longer than normal pause on the phone. “Edward, are you there?” I pulled the phone from my ear and looked to make sure that the call hadn’t been disconnected and I could see the seconds counting upward still. “Edward, please answer me. You’re making me really nervous over here.”

“You want me to come over to your house, with you, and no one else is going to be there but us. Is that right?” His voice sounded very rough and full of emotion, which shocked me.

“Yes, Edward. Just you and me. I thought we could watch the show and maybe order some pizza and”

“Bella, I would like nothing more than to spend tonight with you. What time would you like me to come over? Can I bring anything? Where do you live?”

“Breathe, E.” I paused for a minute after using that nickname of his. I hadn’t used it since before. It was such an intimate thing for me to do and told me a great deal about myself and where my true feelings were headed. “Edward, it’s only dinner and a movie. You don’t need to bring anything unless you want something special for dessert. I will text you my address. It’s not too hard to find. You can feel free to come over at any time. I don’t have anything else planned.”

“Great. I can stop and get some of your favorite ice cream, chocolate chocolate chip cookie dough to bring over.” My stomach decided to take that moment to growl so loudly that Edward heard it over the phone. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He laughed.

“Sounds wonderful.”

“Give me an hour or so and I will be there.”

“Cool, Edward. See you soon.” I hung up and with shaky fingers sent the text to Edward. I could feel a change coming. I just hoped that I was ready for what awaited me.


When I hung up the phone after talking to Bella, my face hurt from smiling so much. Almost immediately my text alert went off and I saw her address appear on my screen. I was nervous, excited, anxious. You name it and the feeling was coursing through my veins. She was changing the rules tonight. We weren’t going to be in public. This was going to be the first time that I was going to be alone with her. I was wondering if this was some kind of test on her part to see if I was going to revert to the old me when no one else was around. I didn’t think that Bella was that devious. She sounded genuinely happy to be spending time with me tonight.

I didn’t need to do much before I headed over to her place other than take a shower and then stop to buy ice cream. I had just headed towards the bathroom when my cell phone rang again. I figured it was Bella either retracting her invitation or calling to clarify something. “Hey, I didn’t expect to hear from you so soon,” I said. “Did you need something else before I come over there tonight?” When I heard masculine throat clearing, I held out the phone and saw that it was Jasper on the line.

“Hi, Jaz. What’s up buddy?” Suddenly I had a feeling that this wasn’t just a social call. Something was up and it was something big.

“Edward, Alice and I found out something today.”

“You better not be calling to tell me that you knocked up my sister. I may be a changed man, but if you’ve done that I’m gonna have to kick your ass.” I found myself starting to grind my teeth at that thought. It was hard enough that I knew they were together. I didn’t need to watch evidence of it develop before my eyes.

“No, E. This does involve a lot of us, but mostly you.” His pause sent chills down my spine. “It’s about you and Bella. Carlisle and Charlie lied to you, to all of us. The restraining orders...” before he even finished, I knew.

I started to feel physically ill as I listened to Jasper recall the conversation he had heard between my dad and Bella’s dad. For the first time in a long time, I felt true anger. The old Edward was struggling to get through, but I would find a way to keep him at bay. I would not destroy what I had built for myself. I would not lose Bella when I had just gotten her back. I chanted the Serenity Prayer over and over to calm myself.

Then, I remembered that I had promised her that I would never keep anything from her again. How was I supposed to tell her something that I knew would destroy her? How could I destroy the one thing that was most precious to me in this world. I just had to pray that together Bella and I would make our way through this unscathed.


I was nervous and excited about tonight. I was going to be alone with Edward. While I wasn’t sure how I felt about him and our relationship, I knew what I needed. I needed some sex and I wanted it from him. No matter what had happened to us in the past, he was a musician and my body was his instrument.

Every orgasm that I had experienced in the last few weeks with the help of my not so little bunny friend had me shouting out Edward’s name. The Rabbit wasn’t just enough anymore. I needed him inside of me, deep inside. Edward always knew how to make my toes curl and had the power to give me orgasms that had me seeing stars. Fuck. I was getting turned on just thinking about him.

I stared in my closet for what felt like forever. I didn’t want to wear some clubbing-type outfit that showed off my body since that is so not what you would wear to watch a movie at home with your friend. I wanted to be sexy, but I also wanted to be a little subtle about it. I finally decided on my comfy OU halter top that ties around the neck and my matching crimson capris that ride low on my waist.

I looked at the clock and it was about at least an hour until he would come over. I hoped soon after, that it would be me who would be cumming and cumming harder than I ever had before. I could feel the moisture begin to soak my panties. “Horny much, Bella?” I asked myself as I rolled my eyes. I had already showered once today, but I figured that I might as well again. I was as nervous as I had been when I knew I was about to lose my virginity. My damn palms were sweating. While I washed my hair with the shampoo that’s scent always drove Edward wild, I decided that I might as well shave my legs again. I wanted the ache between my legs quenched. I began to move my finger to my clit, then I stopped myself. I knew that while this might get me some temporary satisfaction, Edward... his hands, his body, his rock hard cock, would be the only things that could truly satisfy my needs. I knew that if I could wait for him, that I would be so much more fulfilled.

I brushed my teeth and gargled with mouthwash. I lathered my Victoria’s Secret Love Spell lotion from head to toe. I wrapped myself in my favorite huge, fluffy towel and went to get dressed. I put on the top without a bra and looked at the thong underwear that I had put out to wear. You only live once, I thought as I put them in back in my dresser and decided to go commando for this evening’s events.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I had a glow to my cheeks that hadn’t been there in a long time. I had been happy before Edward had come back into my life. I loved my Mom and Dad and adored my friends, but something had been missing. I smiled at the image that looked back at me from the mirror. I put on some eyeliner and a little bit of powder and decided to let my hair air dry since that would give it just a little bit of a wave that was reminiscent of my sex hair.

I had just gotten comfy on the couch and had the big screen tv turned on when there was a knock at the door. I grinned widely as I answered the door to Edward. The light shining behind him from the setting sun almost made him look other worldly, like an angel.

“Hi, come in, please.” Edward followed me inside and my gaze finally took in the paper bag from Braum’s in his hands. I started jumping up and down like a little kid. “You got it, didn’t you!”

“Hello, Bella.” He smiled my favorite smile and took the bag and held it out of my reach.

“Dammit, Edward. That’s just mean!” I moved my body close to him and I knew that I was invading his personal space. Hopefully he would take the hint of what I hoped would happen tonight.

“Patience is a virtue.” He smirked. Fucking smirked at me. “Where is the kitchen? I’d like to put dessert up so it won’t melt.” He folded the bag closed so I couldn’t see inside and made his way to the kitchen.

I tried to grab the freezer door after he put in the ice cream. God, I hoped it was that super chocolaty goodness. I could just see me using Edward as the serving dish for it too. Edward’s huge hands flew beside my head to freezer door. I was now pinned between him and the freezer. He was so fucking close to where I wanted and needed him. His warm breath washed over me making my aching core throb with anticipation. Was it a little hot in here or was it just me? I turned around in the small space and could feel the heat radiating off of his body to mine. I moved even closer to him and ran my fingers down his chest.

“Please, Edward?” He swallowed thickly and knocked my hand away.

“Good try, but not right now, B.” My heart began to race. He hadn’t used this special name for me in, well, I couldn’t remember the last time he said it. Maybe going commando wasn’t such a good idea. It almost felt like I had pissed my pants I was so wet already. He cleared his throat. “So, where is this pizza that you promised me?”

“I wasn’t sure what you would be in the mood for tonight, but have you tried Sandro’s Pizza? It is the best pizza that I have ever eaten.”

“No, I haven’t. Any suggestions?”

“I usually get their vegetarian pizza and have them add pineapple to it. It’s so sinfully delicious that it should be illegal.” Another thing that should be illegal is that panty dropping smile that he just used on me.

“Sounds fantastic,” he told me.

The evening was incredible. It was turning out to be so much more than I ever expected. It was so easy just to be with him. He truly had become one of the sweetest people that I had ever had the pleasure to meet.

As soon as Talihina Sky started on Showtime, Edward decided to mess with me. “So, what’s so special about this music group?”

“Edward, do you not see them with your own eyes? They are so hot, their sexiness is oozing from the television set.”

“Um, Bella, I hate to burst your bubble, but they are so not doing a damn thing for me.” A clip of the KOL’s family and where they have their reunion came up on the screen. “These guys are millionaires? Why the fuck does it look like they are living like they are in an episode of Little House on the Prairie? Wait, I am pretty sure that the housing on Little House is better than this.” He pointed to the wooden shacks on the screen and I laughed.

“Well, the accommodations are definitely not five star.” We both settled back and their music just spurred my mood on. I wanted Edward and I wanted him now. Maybe he just wasn’t getting the signals that I had been sending his way all night. It had been a long time since we were together that way. Maybe he just wanted to make sure that I knew what I wanted. I was going to spontaneously combust if he didn’t take me soon.

I tucked my legs under me and this allowed me to angle my upper body so it was closer to Edward. His arm was thrown over the back of the couch and was oh so close to my overheated skin where I craved his touch. I wasn’t sure how much more of this I could take. The old Edward would have picked up on my signals and would have had my thighs wrapped around his waist and his dick thrusting inside of me by now.

It was time for me to be in control. I scooted closer to him and put my hand on his upper thigh. The Kings of Leon music playing in the background spurred me on. I began rubbing small circles on his leg with my eyes still on the tv. I noticed that Edward was getting flushed. His breathing was becoming more ragged. I smiled inwardly. I began to move my hand higher on his thigh towards the promised land.


She was killing me. Just sitting this close to her my senses were going all haywire. I could feel the sexual tension rising in the room. It was like our bodies were connected and a current was charging through each of us and into the other. This was not part of the deal. Every time that her leg accidentally brushed against mine, I had to hold back a moan. I could swear that she was giving me the look... like she was wanting to jump me.

Then suddenly her hand was on my thigh and my world stopped. What the fuck was she doing?!?! This wasn’t something that friends did. I couldn’t breathe and I could feel my cock beginning to stir. I always wanted Bella. I craved to be with her in every way possible.

On top of this desire, there was the news that I had to share with her. As much as I didn’t want to tell her that our fathers had conspired to keep us apart with the fake restraining orders, she had a right to know. I was not going to ever tell her a lie again.

I needed to stop her before things went further than I really wanted them to go right now. I wanted to do things right with her. If she wants a relationship, a real relationship with me, it was not going to be a wham, bam, thank you ma’am one. It was going to be how it should have been; full of respect, adoration, and love.

I finally decided that it was time for me to tell her what I had found out from Jasper. “Bella, I need to tell you something,” I told her at the exact same time that she said, “Edward, I need to tell you something.”

We both chuckled, but the laughter didn’t make it to our eyes. Before either of us could tell the other what we wanted to say, there was a knock at the door. It startled both of us because it was later than either of us thought it was after midnight.

Bella looked at me and I got up and held my hand out to her. She grasped it tightly and we walked to the door together. I looked out the window and saw a police cruiser in the driveway.

“It’s the police, Bella.”

“What could they be doing here?” I could see the fear in her eyes. The police didn’t just show up at someone’s door for no reason. She opened the doorknob with unsteady hands.

“Can I help you?” Bella asked, with a wavering voice.

“We are looking for Isabella Swan.”

“That’s me.” Bella moved closer to me and clutched my hand even tighter in hers.

The officer looked at me then back at her. Then he told us news that no one wants to hear, “There’s been an accident.”