Disclaimer: We don’t own Twilight or the characters, but we definitely enjoy creating new painful situations for them.
As I was ushering my daughter towards the exit, I realized that I had some "unfinished business" with one, Dr. Carlisle Cullen.
“Sam, can you get Bella to the cruiser? I need to take care of something.”
“Sure, boss.” Sam wrapped his arm protectively around Bella’s shoulder, as he led her out of the hospital. She looked as destroyed as I felt by Carlisle’s revelation. I can’t believe that my little girl tried to kill herself, because of that boy. It was so hard for me to wrap my brain around that. It’s my job as a father to protect her and I knew just how to do that.
I headed down the hallway to the waiting area. I knew the Cullens wouldn’t be far away from their golden boy. I cleared my throat as I saw them. If looks could kill, Sam would have to arrest every member of the Cullen family for my murder.
Carlisle got up from where he was sitting with Esme and looked me dead on in the eye.
“We asked you to leave.” He jerked his head towards the exit.
“Carlisle, I want nothing more than to totally forget your family even exists, but you and I have something important to discuss in regards to our children. Can I speak to you privately in your office?”
“I don’t know what you think…”
“Carlisle, trust me. I know how we can fix this situation. I know how to make everything better for all parties involved.” He looked like he couldn’t get away from me fast enough, but he sighed heavily and looked back at his family.
“Honey, I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He glanced at his watch, then back at Esme. “I’m sure Edward is situated in his room right now, if you want to go sit with him until he wakes up.”
Esme continued to give me dirty looks, but with the mention of her little angel, I quickly became her last concern.
“Oh, Carlisle, thank you! I can’t wait until he wakes up and I know he’s really ok. No thanks to…” Another glare from the Mrs. was sent my way.
Carlisle held up his hand and stopped her, before she could say something that would likely set off the silent war that was waging between our families. “Esme, please, go check on our boy. Emmett, Jasper, Alice, please wait here for a while. I don’t want Edward overwhelmed when he wakes up.”
“Sure, dad. Can I walk mom to the room though?” Emmett asked almost shyly.
“That’s fine, but come back here and wait with your sister and Jasper, after your mom gets to his room.”
Emmett got up and grabbed his mother’s hand, as they headed to Edward’s room. Carlisle and I then began our short walk to his office.
I followed him in, as he shut the door and went to stand behind his desk. He was trying to play the "oh so powerful Chief of Staff,” "I've been to college,” "I’m more powerful than you" card.
“Say what you have to say and say it now. I need to be with my family during this difficult time that was created by your family’s carelessness.” Not again. I had to reign in my temper before I could even think about responding to him.
“I think you and I both know that it was our children’s combined actions, that put us all in the situation they are in right now.” My tone showed Carlisle that I refused to take anymore of his accusations, that my Bella was the only one in the wrong. “It was your son who brought the gun to my house.”
“Go ahead, you said you could fix this. How do you suggest we ‘fix’ this situation?”
“You don’t want your son around my daughter, anymore that I want her around him. This relationship that they have, if we can even call it a ‘relationship,’ is beyond toxic. It needs to stop. It is very obvious to all of us at this point, that they both bring out the absolute worst in each other. We need to find a way to remove that negative influence from each of their lives.”
“I can’t believe I agree with something a Swan has to say, but I couldn’t agree with you more. What do you have in mind?”
“It’s simple really. You can ‘call’ me when Edward wakes up, to tell me that he never wants to see Bella again. Ever. She doesn’t have to know that he didn’t really say it.”
“Chief Swan, the way those two are, how can you be so sure she would believe that he said it at all?”
“Things changed for both of them today. I can tell you that if I was in their position, I would be questioning my life, second-guessing some things.”
“Well, that could keep Bella away from Edward, but how do we keep my son away from her?” I could see his eyes light up, with the knowledge of how we could permanently keep our children apart. “I tell Edward that Bella said she never wants to see him again.”
“Exactly. But, I can make things even better than that. I don’t want Bella in the same town with your son either; at least for a while. I’m going to send her to her mother in Arizona until I can get things set up for her to go to school on the reservation. That way once she does return, they won’t be forced in situations where they could be together and attempt to reconcile. They are kids, and it is time for us to be the parents and help guide them, so their lives are not jacked up with anymore of this teen angst. So, Dr. Cullen, do we have a deal?” I reached out my hand to him and he reached his out and shook mine.
“Absolutely. This couldn’t make me happier.” I could tell that this idea definitely made him as happy as it was making me.
“Good, good. And I don’t need to tell you that this little ‘conversation’ between you and I never happened. As far as you know, all I told you is that I’m sending Bella to Arizona. Got it?”
The pleased glint in his eyes showed me that he more than got it.
“Swan, I never thought I’d say this, but …. deal.” I nodded and headed out to the car, to face my daughter and prepare for the heartbreak that I knew I would cause her. But that heartbreak was needed, so I could protect her from the clutches of young Cullen. Her life literally depended on this.
The ten-minute drive from the hospital to the police station, to drop Sam and the evidence off, and then to our house, felt like it lasted six months.
Charlie’s phone rang as we were almost home. Since I was in the back of the cruiser, I couldn’t hear much of what he said, but I thought I heard him mention Edward’s name. My heart was in my throat with anticipation. How was he? Was he really going to be ok?
As we pulled up in front of the house, Charlie opened the back door of the cruiser so I could get out. He hadn’t spoken a single word to me since we’d left the hospital. He was always quiet, but this kind of eerily quiet had me worried to the depths of my soul.
I was trying to formulate in my mind what I had to, and needed to say to Charlie. I know he’s freaking the fuck out and this silent treatment is causing me to have chills all over my body; like someone walked across my grave or something.
I trudged behind Charlie into the house and began to go upstairs. I definitely needed more time before I faced dad’s wrath.
“Where do you think you are going young lady?”
“Dad, I’m exhausted. I need to get some rest.” As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew this was the most lame excuse ever.
“Living room, now.” Charlie’s voice was soft but the tone... well, if I was a dog, my tail would have been between my legs. I dragged myself to the couch and sat down.
I was fidgeting with my hands and my head was bent down. I know it was pathetic of me not to look Charlie in his eyes, but the disappointment and fear that I had seen in them earlier, in my fragile state of mind, I could not stomach seeing it again. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw dad sit down in his recliner. He sighed heavily, “Bella, what the hell is going on with you, with your life?”
He didn’t give me a chance to answer when he continued, “I don’t have to ask you if Carlisle and Alice told the truth. Your face said it all. What would cause you to do that to yourself? Don’t you know what you would have done to all of us, if you had succeeded? I can’t imagine my life without you in it. Your mom, Renee, would have been just as destroyed. I love you so very much, Bella. Everything I do, I do for you.” I felt myself burrow deeply into the couch as the realization of what I had done, what I could have done, finally, truly, hit me. It hit me with such a force, that it temporarily took my breath away.
“Dad, I swear, I didn’t mean to try … that wasn't…” I started crying.
“Oh, hell, Bells.” Charlie shook his head and placed his hands at the back of his neck. I could tell he was beyond frustrated and as sad as I was at this point.
“It is crystal clear that this all boils down to Edward. He’s just not good for you, sweetheart. You deserve someone who makes you happy. Someone who worships the ground you walk on. Someone whose sole purpose is to make you smile that beautiful smile of yours and to put your needs above theirs, always. Someone who keeps you safe from harm not someone who hurts you. All that Edward has done lately is hurt you emotionally and physically. I can’t stand to see you like this anymore, Bells. I’m so afraid that he has destroyed a part of you that you will never get back.”
“He does make me happy. Dad, I love him. He’s my life. I just…I can’t see myself without him. He completes me, daddy.”
“Your life,” he harrumphed. “Do you think that he feels the same way about you after what happened today? You shot him in the leg. Even if you didn’t mean to do that, do you think that will matter to him at all? He’s in the hospital, because of you.”
I couldn’t believe that my dad just said that to me. I was beyond shocked that he would throw that back in my face. “Dad, he knows it was an accident. I would never hurt him on purpose, he was the one who…”
“Bella, the call that I got in the car was from Carlisle.”
“Is Edward…” I swallowed hard. I could tell by the look in Charlie’s eyes something really bad was coming.
“He’s going to be fine, Bells.” I was overwhelmed with relief as with Charlie’s assurance. “But, honey, things changed for him today.”
“What do you mean?” My heart began racing at a nearly uncontrollable rate. My mouth got dry and it became difficult for me to swallow.
“Bells, he’s awake. He had Carlisle call me with a message for you.” Charlie got up and sat beside me. He lifted up my chin and forced me to look him in the face. I starting praying for the strength that I knew I was going to need to be able to survive this.
“What, what did he say? When can I see him?” Charlie reached over and gently clasped both of my hands in his, as he looked at me with tears forming in his eyes.
“I can’t think of an easy way to say this. I’m so sorry, so very sorry, honey.” He stroked the tears away that I didn't even know were still falling from my eyes. “He said doesn’t ever want to see you again, Bella. He said that it’s over, done. He can’t forgive you for putting him in the hospital. He’s scared that you could have ended his football career from today’s accident.”
“Dad, no! Without him I’m nothing! He can’t leave me. He can’t…. I can’t….’ I couldn’t find my focus. My heart was being shredded into pieces. The pain erupting in my chest was excruciating. Never, ever, even the night that I saw Edward with Tanya, had I experienced the level of despair that was consuming my entire body permeating to the depths of my soul. “Dad, I can’t live without him. I don’t know how to live without him,” I whispered almost inaudibly.
“Bella, I love you so much. I know how what Edward has said, is hurting you. Things haven’t been right between you two for a while. Maybe it’s time to make a clean break. I know what would happen if you saw him and he totally ignored you, or even worse tore into you for what you did. I think that you need some separation from him, from places that you could run into him at least for a while. You’re moving back to Arizona with your mom. That’s far enough away that maybe all of us can find some peace and you can begin to heal. If after a few weeks you think you can handle being back in Forks, that’s fine. Maybe I can get you into the reservation school so you didn’t have to face the Cullens on a daily basis.”
I began to sob hysterically as Charlie enveloped me in his arms, as my brain told me that it was time for me to get over Edward. That Edward didn’t want me anymore. There was an empty space in my heart and nothing left to remind me of Edward. But the throbbing ache of my heart, that Edward had now damaged beyond repair.
I woke up a few hours later, curled in the fetal position on my bed. I had no memory of coming up to my room. Charlie must have carried me up here after crying myself to sleep in his arms. I noticed that my suitcase was sitting beside the bed and my heart lurched agonizingly. It was really happening. It was so hard for me to comprehend everything that had happened today.
I needed to talk to someone. I really wanted to talk to Edward, but I winced when I remembered his cruel words that he didn’t even have the guts to tell me himself. There was only one person who would listen to me, and be there for me to help me through all the pain and sorrow that I was experiencing. I needed my best friend. I needed Alice. I picked up my cell phone and tried to call her. Call rejected. Huh? What’s going on? I called again. Call rejected. What. The. Hell. Well, maybe the cell phone reception at the hospital is bad, so I decided to text her instead.
Ally, can you talk? ~~ B
What do you want to talk about? ~~Lil Pixie
How’s E doing? Is he really going to be ok? ~~ B
How’s he feeling? Do you really have the nerve to ask that question after what you did to him today? He’s inconsolable right now! ~~ Lil Pixie
Do you have any idea at all what you’ve done to my brother? I’m literally sick about it. How could you do that to someone that you profess to love? Huh? Tell me, because I don’t have a clue! ~~ Lil Pixie
I couldn’t believe my eyes. How could my best friend be talking to me like this, after the day that I’ve had today. I needed her, how could she not be here for me? It was her brother who decided he never wanted to see me again! He’s the one who broke my heart!
Why are you so angry with me Alice? None of this was my fault. ~~ B
Wasn't your fault…right! Obviously he shot himself in the leg while you watched helplessly. ~~ Lil Pixie
Before I could even type a text back to try to defend myself, her newest message broke my already shattered heart. I didn’t think that my heart could ache anymore than it was, until I read her spiteful words.
Please don’t text me anymore. I need a break from all of this chaos that you caused. Just, just don’t contact me, please. We will both be much better off if you don’t. ~~ Lil Pixie
I typed slowly through the tears. She was gone. Just like Edward. I hit the send button with a shaky hand.
I’m so sorry you feel that way, Ally. I love you. I’ll respect your wishes. You know where to find me, if you change your mind about things. You will always be my best friend. xoxo ~~ B
I swallowed the large lump in my throat and threw my cell phone across the room. It shattered into pieces, as it hit the wall with more force than I thought myself capable of using.
I forced myself out of bed, grabbed the suitcase and began the almost torturous task of packing. I didn’t know how long I was going to be gone. If Charlie mentioned it, I certainly didn’t remember. Suddenly I felt realization strike me. It didn’t feel like there was anything left in Forks for me anymore. In a day, not only had I lost my best friend, who was like a sister to me, but I've also lost the love of my life, my reason for being.
As I closed up the suitcase, uncontrollable sobs bubbled up from the deep fissures of pain radiating throughout my chest. I collapsed onto my bed and wrapped my arms tightly around my body, trying my best to stop myself from breaking into even more pieces. I was about to leave the only real home that I’d ever known. But this isn't a home anymore. There’s just an empty space in my chest, and pain to remind me of the memory of what we had shared together. I was leaving Edward. Just like he asked me to.